When it comes to shoes, I'm no Carrie Bradshaw

Tomorrow evening I'll be volunteering at the JDRF-Las Vegas annual Hope Gala. This is a mega-huge fundraiser with lots of cool items up for auction and people in fancy schmancy outfits sipping champagne and eating foods that you see Emeril and Mario Batali whip up on the Food Network.

I already have the dress I'm wearing. However, I'm still hunting for hoping to find comfortable shoes to wear since I'll be on my feet for a good 4-5 hours. Do you know how hard it is to find a pair of shoes that look nice for a classy event, are comfortable, and don't break the bank? I'm basically looking for a unicorn. Or, in Pop Culture terms, these elusive shoes are my Eleanor. 

One thing I know: I am not Carrie Bradshaw. High heeled shoes that resemble stilts and cost the same as a Porsche? Yeah, I can't do that.

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This doesn't mean I have no shoes to wear. I do. The problem is that after a couple hours my feet are in a world of hurt. Not as much as some of the women attending this event in their cute/sexy/super high-heels, but still.

Maybe next year I'll wear a floor-length dress so no one will see my oh-so comfy flip flops.

I started out shopping for my mom

Have you ever sat down at your computer knowing you had emails to check, posts to write, and stuff to look up and your mind goes blank and you think, I have no idea what I'm doing? That just happened. But that's not what this post is about.

Yesterday I was out shopping for clothes as a birthday gift for my mom so naturally I found stuff for me. And since I can never find anything when I specifically look for myself I ran with it. I picked some items and headed to the fitting room.

Tee shirt. No problem, even a little tres chic.
Sleep shirt and shorts. Soft, nice. Hey the husband can get me this for my birthday. He'll be happy 'bout that! I'm multi-tasking even as I shop!
Jeans. First pair are comfy, and a little loose. I must have lost weight! Bit long-ish but I can cuff them up and during the Winter they'll be perfect with boots.
Second pair of jeans. I slip my legs in and "Houston, we have a problem."  This feels less like I'm trying on jeans and more like I'm shoving sausage meat into a casing.
Third pair of jeans. What twisted psychopath designed these? I mean, tight jeans are one thing but this is an affront to non-zero size women everywhere.

When I exit the fitting room, the attendant looks at me with a big smile that says, "So, how'd we do?" I tell her I'm not taking these and I plop down the offending jeans. Then I add, "These aren't jeans, they're strangulation devices." To which she laughed and agreed with me.

To wear or not to wear: Edition 4

I don't shop at the House of Style and my couture is far from haute but every now and then I have to stop and shake my head at some fashion choices. Join me as I once again ask, To wear or not to wear?

Earlier this week I was in our neighborhood Walgreens when I heard the familiar 'flip flip flip' of shoes. I was surprised to see a young guy come around the corner into my aisle wearing said flip flop shoes. Men, men, men, how many times must I say that unless you are at a pool or on a beach or in your own domicile, do not wear flip flops. No one wants to look at your ugly man feet. At least he wasn't wearing socks with them. Why men do that I'll never know.

Guys in skinny jeans are a bad idea. While I applaud your thin physique in a weight-obsessed world, I think your denim choice is wrong-o! You look like a skinny-assed crack-head. It's an unattractive look. Ladies like a guy in snug Levi's. Think Chris Hemsworth as Thor cooking breakfast for Natalie Portman. Yeah, now do you see? Leave the skinny jeans to us women. We wear it better, especially when paired with a cute pair of boots or some sexy heels.

This summer when we were out bowling with Chris I watched a young woman several lanes away struggle to bowl and still maintain her dignity. Why? Because she was wearing a babydoll dress that revealed a split all its own every time she threw the ball. Despite how many times she pulled on the hem, the blasted thing wouldn't grow any longer. Lesson to be learned: Always ask where you are going ahead of time so you can dress accordingly.

If you'd like to read more of my fashion commentary you can follow these links:

TWoNTW Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

To wear or not to wear part 3

Last summer I wrote a couple posts observing what people were wearing, where they were and why I thought their choices were...hmmm, let's say inappropro. Here are links to those previous posts.

To wear or not to wear Part 1
Part 2


I recognize that fashion trends come and go and people have their own sense of style. And believe me when I say that I'm no Coco Chanel. However, I try to dress based on where I'm going, the weather and my sense of comfort. Here is another list of acceptable/unacceptable clothing to wear in public. Again, just my opinion.

Last Saturday evening we took Chris to a huge carnival/festival nearby. Part of it was on a parking lot and the rest was on gravel. I wore comfortable sandals. Some women wobbled along in high heeled shoes. Did I mention that there was gravel? Ladies, what in hell were you thinking? This is a family oriented carnival, not Carnevale in Rio!

And to the women in shorty short skirts: the world is not interested in the color of your undies! Save those micro minis for the nightclubs on the Strip, or the privacy of your own home, or wear them on your head like the headbands they are!

I'm still not understanding the socks and sandals or flip flops look that guys insist on wearing. Sandals and flip flops are for bare feet. Socks are worn with closed shoes. It's that simple! If you need socks to cover your ugly, fungal feet you shouldn't be wearing open shoes in the first place.

Oh and please, for the love of all that is holy, will young men stop wearing their pants below their butt! Who started this silly trend? Did someone somewhere decide one day, Yeah I'm so diggin' my undies and I want the whole world to see. I have no interest in your tighty-whitey, fruit of the loomies.

To wear or not to wear: Part 2

This past Monday and Tuesday we took Chris to some area pools for some swimming fun before school starts again.

Monday we were at Red Rock and Tuesday we were at a local aquatic center. In between swimming and relaxing and just generally having fun I spent some time gawking at what other people wore. Do people seriously look in the mirror and think, "Yeah, I look goooood."?

This prompted me to make another list of acceptable/unacceptable clothing to wear while swimming at the local pool.

Men should wear swim trunks. Period. End of story. Knee length speedos are not attractive. Ever. Neither are short shorts that look as if the man borrowed his wife's bathing suit bottoms. We are not in the South of France, people! I do not want to see all your junk wrapped up tightly in a pair of inappropriate swim whatevers. Invest in board shorts like a normal guy!

Along those same lines I must ask this: Guys, young and older, why do you wear basketball shorts and underwear to go swimming? What is that all about? Doesn't that feel uncomfortable? Like you couldn't quite make it to the urinal in time?

It's bad enough I have to see them walking around on dry land with their pants down to their ankles, advertising to the world what underwear they are wearing. But really, at the pool, too? This isn't your own backyard pool or the local swimming hole in the woods. You're in public! Proper swim trunks are warranted.

Lastly, to the very pregnant woman who was there with her 6 kids (one of whom was wearing basketball shorts and underwear) please note that a bra is a bra and a bikini top is a bikini top. They may look similar and act similar but they are indeed very different. One you wear in private, under your clothes and one you can wear in public. Obviously you got confused about which is which.

To wear or not to wear

This past Monday and Tuesday we took Christopher out for the day to have some fun and because it was too hot to do anything else.

On Monday we went to Adventuredome, which is an amusement park inside Circus Circus Hotel/Casino.

Tuesday we all went to the Rio Hotel's Voodoo Beach, an outdoor pool/beach area. Chris had a blast both days. Moreso at the pool because what kid doesn't like splashing in the water with other kids?

I noticed on both days how inappropriately some parents dress while out with their children. Or how their wardrobe seemed incongruous with the weather. Uggs in 105 degrees? What are you thinking???

So I compiled a list of acceptable/unacceptable clothing. Please note, this is just my opinion and since I dress more or less for comfort than for style, take it with a grain of salt.

Wearing high heels, a tight skirt and an off-the-shoulder blouse is not conducive to walking your child around an indoor amusement park. Although, it might get your child a discount or more turns on the rides, in which case, the jokes on me and I'm digging out my mini skirt right now.

Men should only wear flip flops at the pool, the beach or at home. No one wants to see ugly men feet while grocery shopping. Or at an amusement park.

Speedos on men are never acceptable. Unless you're in Europe where toplessness and showing lots of skin is considered normal.  Or, if you're an underwear model.

High heeled open toe shoes at a pool surrounded by sand is not a smart idea what with all the sinking your heels will do. Unless you also wear them to the beach, in which case walk on with your bad self and your mini sink-hole making shoes.

I'm not a slave to fashion by any stretch. If it's hot I dress to be cool. If I'm going to be walking a lot I wear the right shoes and clothes so I'm not a hot, cranky, sore-footed mess at the end. I may end up a hot mess anyway but dangit I'm going to be comfortable doing so!