Love makes it all worth it

Ah the joys of Motherhood.

First there's pregnancy. The nausea, puking, backaches. Your stomach grows so that you resemble a Macy's parade balloon.

Then comes labor in all its excruciating glory; the pushing, the yelling, the mess and finally a baby.  And then there are the sleepless nights and a routine of eat, sleep, poop and repeat.

Followed by:
Chasing after a newly walking and then running, toddler on the loose.

Stepping on Legos and assorted action figures in the middle of the night.

Cleaning up missed aim even after repeating the phrase, "Do pee pee into the toilet."

Temper tantrums because he doesn't want to be there wherever there is and total meltdowns because he's hungry.

The many 'nots': Not eating what you prepared, not listening when you say "don't touch that", not wanting to do homework.

The endless cleaning of stickiness, spillages, crumbs, and fingerprints.

And then one day he hugs you and says, "Mom, I could never get a better mother than you. I love you."

And that, well, that wipes away all the pain and challenging times and makes it all worth it.

We interrupt this blog to say "Thank You"

I'd like to take a few minutes out of my daily blog to thank all of the awesome people/fellow bloggers who come to read my posts, comment on them and/or have joined as a member. I heart you. Really, I do.

Although I love to write and do it because I have an insatiable need to comment on everything, it does make me feel less like I'm talking to myself when other people pop in. *Choked up sob* I promised myself I wouldn't cry...I'm kidding.

So, a big ol' Thank You to you all. I enjoy reading your comments and likewise, I enjoy reading your blogs as well. And thanks to Erica and Yeah Write - Love Links for letting me share my blog and giving me the opportunity to meet some fabulous people. Still waiting for a bottle of bathtub gin, though. Anyway, you all rock!

And that concludes our mushy segment of this blog. We now return you to our usual snark.

Attitude of Gratitude

About a month ago, during one of my insomniac nights when my mind is a tornado of all things wrong/not done/could be better in my life I started thinking instead of all the things I am grateful for in my life. As I mentally ticked off my blessings I realized I have a lot to be grateful for and this made me smile. It also made me relax enough to fall asleep. Or maybe it was the counting that finally did me in. Math always did bore me, but I digress.

I call it my Attitude of Gratitude list because it improves my attitude. I realize it may sound like cheesy, religious spiel or something you see on Oprah but I think it helps to calm me if I focus on all the good in my life instead of the stupidly wrong. It certainly lightens my attitude enough to not want to plot the diabolical ends of people who piss me off. Well, no, I still do that I just don't act on it and I thank my Gratitude list for that.

I also don't walk around all "Mary Sunshine" either but when I start to feel down or can't sleep it's nice to pull out this mental list. It reminds me of what matters.

My Gratitude list probably includes the same as a lot of peoples:  family, good friends, a home, a job (if you're fortunate enough to have one, especially one you enjoy). I mention stuff I sometimes take for granted like good physical health and little things like my love of reading and writing.

Then there are those who make the list automatically no matter how much they annoyed the crap out of me like Bill or my mom. But not the dogs next door who are always barking their little heads off like wind-up toys, no they go on the List-to-plot-the-diabolical-ends-of-but-don't-actually-do-it. They should be grateful for that list.


Anyway, everyone has something or some things that they are grateful for. Do you have a list and what (or who) is on it? Feel free to share.

Attack of the killer mutant snow goons

I'm a big fan of Calvin & Hobbes and my favorite is the Snow Art series. If you're not familiar with the comic, it's about a little boy (Calvin) and his stuffed tiger (Hobbes - which in his mind is alive). Each winter when it snowed they set about making snow men, but not your cute, run-of-the-mill Frosty types. These were freakish snow monsters sometimes doing horrific things. Hilarious. So in honor of winter and the recent snow that has fallen in many parts of the country, here are some pics of Calvin & Hobbes and their mutant snow goons:

So that's how it works? I was totally using it wrong.

The other night I got up to go to the bathroom. Bill (the husband) turned and asked me, "Where are you going?" I told him. And then he asked, "Why are you taking your cell phone?" I looked at him and replied, "Because it's my flashlight." Then he turned over and went back to sleep.

What? Oh come now, I know I'm not the first person to use their cell phone as a flashlight to see in the dark. In fact, I use other things in ways not intended. I'm sure you do, too. Take for instance, a butter knife. It makes a handy screwdriver. Especially if something comes loose in the kitchen. See the convenience there?

I use Bill's pillow to prop my laptop on if I'm on my bed. This annoys him, mostly when he needs his pillow to go to sleep. He went out and bought me a laptop stand just for this reason. I use it to stack all my I'll-deal-with-it-later mail. At least it's being used!

Apparently this misuse of things runs in the family. My mom's letter opener broke. She now uses a paring knife to open her mail. I asked her why she didn't just go out and buy a new letter opener. Her answer: "Why? This knife works just as well." I get where you're comin' from, Mom.

Anxiety and panic

If you're a fan of The Bloggess, like I am, you may have read her Post in which she discusses her fight with depression last week. I read it. And it inspired me to share my own struggles with anxiety and panic disorder.

These are not easy illnesses to talk about. The stigma that surrounds them and the lack of understanding by society makes many of us hide away how we truly feel. Dealing with anxiety attacks and panic disorder is scary and frustrating and makes me feel damaged. This isn't something I can "get over". Nor is it something I do for attention. Believe me, there are lots more fun ways to be in the spotlight. Being unable to breathe and breaking out in a cold sweat are not them.

I can't tell you what started my disorders. There are no traumatic events or serious illnesses that caused them. Just like I couldn't tell you when or where I might suffer an attack. All I know is that they are physically debilitating.  The anxiety causes me to feel out of control and then I panic and all I know is that I feel like I've got to get out of here. Now! I remember avoiding some outings just so I didn't chance an attack happening. But that made me feel like a recluse and I hated missing out. I knew there was something wrong so I made an appointment to see a doctor and he diagnosed me.

Currently I take medication which makes me feel even-keeled. I haven't had any episodes or attacks in almost three years. And even then they were minor in scale because of the meds. Now, I'm not advocating pills to deal with anxiety, panic or whatever disorder you suffer from. I'm just saying that they work for me. And as long as my fabulous doctor is in agreement, I'll keep taking them.

I'm hoping for a time when I won't be dependent on medication to get through the day. Right now, though, I still need them. I'm not ready yet and too scared to go pill-free. I'm like a little kid and the world is my big, scary closet full of monsters. However, the meds help me keep the closet door closed, until I'm ready to slay the monsters on my own.

Get linked!

No more lives to live

It's the end of an era. A daytime era to be exact. Today marked the last airing of the ABC daytime soap opera, "One Life To Live".

I haven't watched the show as religiously as I did years ago but I always kept in touch with the happenings. I did watch the last two weeks just to see how it would all end. Would all loose ends get tied up? Would characters get their happy-ever-after? Would Llanview be decimated off the map? (I know it's a fictional town that was never really on the map in the first place, but humor me.)

My grandma got my mom into the show and then I got interested. Even after my grandma died and my mom went back to work and lost interest, I kept watching, until such a time as I could no longer keep up.

OLTL has been around longer than I've been alive. Not that I'm so old but still it's a long time. And I always thought it would be around, waiting for me to come back like a long-lost son or the daughter it never knew existed.

It's a shame that ABC didn't see the value in this show (or All My Children - which it canceled September 2011). These shows are an escape, like a good trashy novel. They amuse us, anger us, and mostly entertain us. The characters become family. We cheer for them and cry with them. But that's what a good show does...it gets us involved.  Sure it's make-believe and some of the story lines are so far-fetched but that's what makes it so much fun. It's a guilty pleasure.

Who knows, maybe somewhere down the road the show will be resurrected and come back from the dead like a favorite character.

In the meantime, farewell Llanview and all your inhabitants: Viki/Niki Lord Reilly Buchanan  etc.etc., the Buchanan cowboys, the crazy Cramers, the beautiful Llanfair mansion and everyone else. I'm gonna miss you.

Strong emotions

When I was a little girl and I felt strongly against something I would use the word hate. My grandmother would say, "Hate is a strong word. Say instead that you dislike it." These days I tell Little Man the same thing.

And then the other night while I was giving him an insulin shot he said that he hated diabetes and he hated God for giving it to him. At first I went to correct him but then I thought he's feeling what he wants and expressing himself about his disease. He doesn't actually hate God, he's just looking for someone to blame for it all. Me too. So I said nothing and just hugged him.

Dislike might be a nicer way to express how much you don't like something. But sometimes disliking something isn't enough. I don't just dislike having to watch him prick his little fingers or giving him insulin shots. I Hate it. I hate that he has this disease. I hate that he has to be mindful of what he eats. I hate that we have to monitor his blood glucose levels. I hate when his levels are high and I hate when they are low. And most of all I hate that I have no one and nothing to blame for him having diabetes in the first place. Sorry Grandma, I don't just dislike it, I HATE it.

I keep my hate to myself. But I let Little Man openly feel what he wants to feel as he manages his life as a diabetic. If he wants to cry, I let him. If he wants to scream, I let him. If he wants to hate the disease, I let him. The only thing I won't do is let him cope on his own. For the most part these dramatic displays of emotion are few and far between. Mostly he just gets frustrated or loses patience. Like if his blood glucose meter doesn't register his blood sugar levels correctly because of an insufficient amount of blood on the test strip and he has to prick another finger. It's understandable.

Oh and later on that evening as I was tucking him into bed he told me he didn't really hate God, he was just really upset. I Love that kid.

Happy Optimistic New Year!

2011 wasn't all that great. For a lot of people. I don't need to go into the details because we all know the hardships people are enduring. Still, on New Year's Eve and in the 2 days following, I've sensed a lot of optimism in the air. Folks feel happy to a greet a new year. They've shelved the old year and look ahead with renewed purpose. It's like a sense of camaraderie, of "We're all in this together" and "This is going to be our year!"

I feel it, too. I look to 2012 with hope and good feeling. I've set some goals and feel good about attaining them. I wish everyone a wonderful new year filled with renewal, betterment and goodness. Let's do this!

Farewell 2011

Last post of the year. And what a challenging year it has been. Not just for me but for many others as well. My son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, which sucked and continues to suck but we are dealing with it. There's been disappointments, frustrations and sadness. But not all of 2011 was bad.

My best friend came out to surprise me for my birthday and we had an amazing time. I re-formatted my blog and became more serious about posting and writing. There's been more family togetherness, which sometimes made me want to curl up in a corner and eat my hair. Mmm Herbal Essence, tasty.

I think 2012 will be awesome. Despite what the Mayan Chicken Littles say. I don't usually like to make resolutions but I do set some personal goals to achieve throughout the year. So hopefully I'll be thinner with some stories and a book published. And then the world will end. Be just my luck.

Have a happy, healthy New Year and be safe wherever you plan to celebrate.

New Year's Traditions

When we lived in New Jersey, it was traditional to ring in the New Year with Dick Clark and watch the ball drop in Times Square. We also laughed at all the silly people freezing their butts off while we sat all warm at home but I digress. Whether we hosted a party, went to a party or spent a quiet NYE at home, we did so while watching the festivities in the City.

Now that we live in Las Vegas our new tradition for ringing the new year is to watch the fireworks over the hotels on the Strip. Last year we sat in a heated car until the last minute, got out to watch the display, wish each other a Happy Happy and ran back in the car. It was unusually freezing cold!

Aside from how you spend the evening, there are also certain traditions/superstitions that are practiced to ensure good luck, good fortune, happiness and more in the new year. One year we celebrated NYE with another couple we were good friends with. The husband brought over a pot of lentil soup and insisted that when the clock struck midnight we each eat a spoonful of the soup. Doing this was supposed to bring us good fortune in the coming year. The soup was good, the fortune so-so.

My great-grandmother was full of these rituals. She believed that you should have all your laundry done and your house clean before the midnight hour or else the new year would find you always washing clothes in a filthy house. She also believed that you should pay off all necessary debts or else you would be continually broke and owing other people.That's easier said than done these days. She had food traditions, too. Eating red cabbage meant good luck. However, cabbage leaves some people gassy, which means bad luck for the others around them.

Anyway, here's a short list of New Year's traditions from around the world. Extra commentary by me is in blue at the end.

Spain
At midnight, it's customary to eat 12 grapes, one at each stroke of the clock. Each one signifies good luck for one month of the coming year. Unless you choke on grape # 3.

Finland
The Finnish predict their fortunes for the coming year by casting molten tin into a container of water and interpreting the shape the metal takes after it hardens. A heart or ring shape means a wedding, a ship signifies travel, a pig means lots of good food. Or that you've made a pig of yourself in the last year.

Philippines
Round shapes which represent coins, symbolize prosperity. There are heaps of round fruits on dining tables. Some folks eat precisely a dozen fruits at midnight. Polka dots are also thought to bring good luck. So dressing in a polka dot dress should get you lucky! 

Belarus
Unmarried women play games to predict who will get hitched in the new year. In one game, a pile of corn is put in front of each woman and a rooster is let loose. Whatever pile he approaches first shows which woman will be the first to marry. This is worse than standing to catch the bride's bouquet.

Denmark
People stand on chairs and jump off them at the same time at midnight to banish evil spirits and bring good luck. Unless you fall off the chair or go through the floor, then the evil spirits have the last laugh.

Central & South America
Folks wear special underwear in places like Brazil, Ecuador, Bolivia and Venezuela. Red means love; yellow means money. Brown means dirty.

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas Eve. All is calm right now. But later, it will be busy and loud and tons of fun. There will be food and laughing and music and presents. We celebrate Christmas Eve and since my son still believes in Santa Claus there will be presents for him to open Christmas morning.

But for now, tonight is the big deal. Me, Husband and Little Man will gather with my parents, my brother and our uncle. I cannot wait. I still look forward to Christmas Eve like a little kid. I love to watch people open the gifts from us. My son has taken over the duty of passing out the gifts and reading the names off the tags. Once the gifts are opened we sit and have dessert. I provide the baked cookies and my mom usually has some sort of cake or pie. Then there's more talking and laughing and fun.

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas wherever, however and with whomever you spend it.Whether it's a grand affair or a small intimate gathering, have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland

Here's to not getting the shaft this Christmas

There are a few presents under my tree. I had to wrap them and place them there because of Cousin Eddie. I'll explain. One of my family's favorite Christmas movies is "Christmas Vacation." If you haven't seen it then this post will make no sense to you. If you have seen the movie, carry on.

Well, Little Man bought a few token gifts for family at his school's Holiday Boutique. A few days later he put them in their little gift bags and placed them under the tree. Then everyday he would check to see if any more presents were there. My dad (in jest) referenced the Chevy Chase holiday movie and said "Maybe we're all getting the shaft this Christmas." Little Man asked him what that meant and my dad explained.

Excerpt from the movie:
Clark: "And if you believe in him, and you believe in your mom, and you believe in your... your dad, and if you've been good all year round, Santa Clause is going to bring you something."
Ruby Sue: "Sometimes I think all that Santa crap's just bull. If he was so real, how come we didn't get squat last year? We didn't do nothing wrong, and we still got the shaft."


Little Man seemed a bit concerned and said "I was very good this year. I hope I don't get the shaft." Then my mom told me my dad felt bad and that I should hurry up and put some things under the tree to reassure Little Man that he was getting presents for Christmas.

Thanks, dad.

And thanks, Cousin Eddie, for not getting a job (in 7 years!) and buying your kids Christmas presents so that they wouldn't get the shaft, thereby making it possible for my dad to tell my kid about your Christmas fail and making me wrap presents and put them under my tree earlier than usual.

Frosty, the Miser Brothers, Kris Kringle and other Christmas 'toons

So, in reality I'm an 8-year old girl living in an adult woman's body because I love love love watching the Christmas cartoons each year on television. "Frosty the Snowman" - Happy Birthday! "The Year Without A Santa Claus" has me singing the Snow Miser and Heat Miser songs. And I still get a little choked up when Kris marries Miss Jessica on "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

I've been watching these each year since I was a little children. Now, I enjoy them even more with my son. It's so cool to sit with him and watch something that I grew up with and see his reactions. He also sings along with the Miser brothers and he thinks the Burger Meister Meister Burger is a poop.

We also watch the newer animated Christmas specials like "The Polar Express". He asked me if I would get on the train and I told him - Absolutely! But I would want to toot the horn and steer. Please hold the women-as-bad-drivers jokes.

I am a big Peanuts fan and I'm proud to say my kid is, too so it goes without saying that our favorite Christmas show is "A Charlie Brown Christmas." We get up and dance with Snoopy and the gang and laugh when Snoopy kisses Lucy. Spending time watching these holiday shows with him makes Christmas even more special.

I've got a store!

I am now hawking my wares on Zazzle.com. Ok, so far there's just one tee shirt with a creepy black widow spider on it, but! I designed it myself. Go here and buy buy buy! My store is called Desert Sinsation. More cool stuff coming.

Christmas humor

Take time to laugh amid all the hustle & bustle and craziness of the season.

A Sign of the Times
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus:

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("
11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.
Santa

Burnt dinner rolls and other Thanksgiving traditions

As far as popular traditions go, we don't say grace before the meal or share what we're most thankful for and we certainly won't line up outside a store waiting for Black Friday sales. Our holiday tradition involves a foodie mishap. Every. Year.

Every Thanksgiving my family gathers for a delicious meal. The turkey is moist, the gravy is lumpless, the potatoes are mashed. But somehow, no matter what, the dinner rolls suffer. We follow the directions, we set a timer, we check them half-way through. They still get burnt. My uncle calls it Cajun-style. We laugh about it and my mom says it's tradition to serve burned dinner rolls. I've done it. Mom has done. Sometimes it's just the bottoms. One year, sadly, they were inedible.

In the past I was able to blame my stove because it cooked unevenly. Then we got a new stove and there went my excuse. Mom usually gets distracted and then - suddenly!- remembers the rolls in the oven. I tried scraping the burnt bits off the bottoms once. I think I finally got fed up and just cut the burnt part off and we served bottomless buns.

Got nothing better to do?

Someone sent me this in an email. If you're a professional time-waster, like me, this will provide hours of entertainment. Make sure you have your sound turned on so you can hear the Boing!

door stopper fun

Facebore

Am I the only one bored with all the inane statuses people are posting on Facebook? Things like "Joe Has-no-life is at Target shopping." Really? Well, while you're there, pick me up a few things, Joe, so I don't have to go out later and post the same lame status. There are those who choose to post every time they do something or who use Facebook as their own personal check list. "Going grocery shopping." An hour later I get to read that they are now done grocery shopping and have begun to clean the house. Unless you did both in a clown suit or, naked...Nobody Cares!!

Some people feel a need to post based on every emotion they feel. "I'm pissed." "I'm so happy." "I'm so sad." This prompts other "friends" to reply with sympathy or questions asking "why?" Now, I understand if someone writes something because they need encouragement or want to share some joyous news. But, really, must every stinkin' thing good, bad or otherwise be documented? Did you win the lottery and are you giving me a share? Did you find the body of Jimmy Hoffa in your yard? Because I really could care less that you're tired and going to sleep.

I'd be really impressed to read that someone swallowed a whistle and now every time they fart, their butthole whistles Dixie. That would be a great status update.

The tale of the turkey thief

Every year the Little Man's school sponsors a fun contest for Thanksgiving called, "Hide the turkey". The object is to disguise a picture of a turkey, thus "saving" it from being eaten as the main course on Thanksgiving.  You get to use whatever materials you want to hide your turkey's identity.

Two years ago we disguised  the turkey as a dog, using cotton balls that we colored brown to be his fur and we glued floppy ears, paws and a snout made from construction paper onto him. Lastly, we wrote "Woof" by his mouth. My son received third place for his entry. (Yay!) Last year we colored the turkey red and drew a large M on his body to make him look like an M & M. So far, all very cute. This year we went a different route.

The Little Man decided that he wanted to "save" the turkey by disguising him as a robber. We made a black mask out of construction paper that covered his eyes. My Husband cut out a Nerf gun from some store's flyer and we affixed that to the turkey's hand. Little Man colored the rest of him black because that's what robbers usually wear. We were all pretty proud of this family effort. He handed in his entry this past Tuesday. I'm hoping I don't get a call from the school saying our turkey is too violent.  Or, maybe they'll ask me to come in and show me his turkey with questionable looks.

School: (all concerned) We wanted you to see what your son did for the Hide the Turkey contest.
Me: Um, I know. His dad and I helped him.

I can imagine the rest of the meeting going downhill from there. Maybe we should have stuck to the original idea of a Ninja turkey holding a Hatori Hanzo sword? 

In my day...

Halloween is over. We took the little ninja out for tricks 'n treats. He had a lot of fun and so did me and the husband. It was nice to see so many other houses in the neighborhood decked out in creepywear. However, what's up with the attitude of some kids?

In my day it was customary to say "Trick or Treat" when one happened upon a house. Of course we did this with no shoes on, in the freezing snow, up hill.... But seriously. It's just three words. For free candy! I don't get that whole standing there holding your bag open thing while saying NOTHING.

Maybe I should just be grateful the kids uttered a "Thank you" when given the candy. But still. It's not like I want them to juggle chainsaws or pull a rabbit out of their butt. (If that's your thing then good on you but I don't wanna know).

And then there's that attempt to upgrade your candy. These kids come up and eyeball my candy bowl and instead of taking what I want to give them they ask for something better. "Do you have any Twix bars?"Or, "Can I have the Nestle bar instead?" Whatever happened to that old Kindergarten phrase that even my 8-year old understands: You get what you get and you don't get upset. Hey you punk ass who's barely dressed up and just has on a hockey mask (how unoriginal) or a little bit of scary makeup, be glad I'm not giving you a Charleston Chew I found buried somewhere in the back of my cabinet circa 1998. Better yet, be glad I don't toss a rock in your bag, Charlie Brown.

Some kids should just sit in the pumpkin patch and wait for the Great Pumpkin.

Vicious Malware almost ate my computer

Last night I was really tired and planned to go to bed early, or earlier than I normally do. However, I thought one stop over at Pinterest wouldn't be a big deal. So off I went looking and laughing and pinning when I came upon something I thought particularly witty and clever. I clicked to the linked site hoping for more witty and cleverness but instead a big scary Malware monster attacked my little 'puter.

Suddenly there were scary little pop-up windows declaring that my system had a "Delayed Write Failed Error 32". Another scary looking window said I needed to do a restore and a system scan and sacrifice a goat while burning a ritual candle in the name of the Computer Gods.

I immediately closed all the windows and they Kept Coming Back!!! I logged off. I re-booted. I watched my files just Poof! disappear. Then I did what any other normal person in such a situation would do. I panicked. Fingernails got chewed. Hair was pulled and also chewed. The husband was yelled at even though he was quietly minding his own business playing a game on X-box.

I ran my super-duper virus protection program in its limited capacity because I haven't yet updated it. Yet!  I will! I am! I also said a little prayer to God to please take a moment or two out of his busy schedule to save my computer and not have all my files be lost into the Great Unknown.

At this point it's almost 3 am and my perfect little plan of going to bed at a reasonable hour has been blown to bits. I decided to go to sleep and hope that maybe when I wake up this will all have been some ridiculous nightmare or maybe an episode of  Scare Tactics.

After a light, uneasy sleep of 4 hours I get up and get the Little Man off to school. And then I boot up my PC, fingers crossed the whole time. And....nothing. It wasn't a nightmare and Tracy Morgan didn't jump out of the closet to assure me that my husband set me up for a good fright.

I did some online research and after finding a free down-loadable scanner through Microsoft  that removes these pesky programs and finding out how to bring my file and folder babies out of "hiding" I am happy to report that all is well with my Dell laptop.

Lessons Learned:

Always update your virus protection software! (a little PSA from me to you)
Always backup your files! (another PSA)
Never click a link you are unsure of. (duh!)
Scare Tactics is funny.
Scary malware is not!
Go to bed when you plan to and get off the dang computer!

Hey! Come check out Lovelinks. Read some cool blogs, leave a comment or two or three and then come back Thursday and vote for your fave.  

He has a kid's room; I had a disaster area.

The little man has his own room at my parents' house for when he visits or sleeps over. There's a bed, nightstand and possibly a floor. It's hard to tell with all the action figures waging war in various ships and battlegrounds. Little green army guys are fighting alongside members of G.I. Joe. Transformers are joined in battle with Bakugan. There are tanks, boats, helicopters and other transports as well.

Anyway, some out of town relatives are coming to visit and will most likely be coming to see their new house. I suggested to little man that we "straighten out" his room to make it presentable for company. More than likely this will include me trying to figure out which faction goes into what tote box.

Me: Is this guy from G.I. Joe?
Little Man: No Mom, he belongs to Halo.

How silly of me to not know the difference. At least I can identify the Star Wars characters. Yay!

I told my mom of our intention to clean up his room and she replied in true grandmother-type fashion.

My mom: Oh that's not necessary. It's a child's room. It's supposed to have toys all over.

I stared blankly, blinked a couple times, and did a cartoon-like head shake. Did I hear correctly? Where was this woman when I was eight-years old? My room was called a disaster area if I had toys all over. And I HAD to clean it up. So. Not. Fair.

I'm still going to make little man make his room look presentable, if only to just get under his and mom's skins a little. Hey, if I had to do it, so does he! So there!

A Little Halloweenie

I've always liked Halloween. Not just the dressing up and getting candy - which rocks by the way- but the decorating too.  The husband lives for this holiday and we have several totes worth of gruesome Addams Family style decorations to show for it. You won't find any happy little pumpkins and scarecrows on our front lawn. I'm talking body parts coming out of the ground. His Halloween decorating was legendary back when he still lived at home with his mother. The neighbors loved it, kids came from all over and a handful were too afraid to venture to the front door for candy. After he moved out and we got married, kids still asked his mom on Halloween where the scary guy and his house went.

These days it's our house that looks like something out of a Stephen King horror story. Skeletal remains, got 'em. Cauldrons? We have three. Bats? Yep. Heads without bodies and bodies without heads, cemetery gates, fog machines. It's all there. I think the parents and kids enjoy the effort put into the decorating when they're out trick or treating on Halloween.

I have a love/hate relationship with all things macabre. I'm not a fan of haunted houses because somehow I always get picked on and I don't enjoy most scary movies. However, I take part in decorating and I do enjoy Mike Myers walking around with a butcher knife trying to slash Jamie Lee Curtis to bits. I'm odd like that.

Sadly, our Little Man isn't as enamored with the gross and disturbing side of the holiday. This all goes back to an ill-fated and premature trip with the Husband's mother to a haunted house when he was 3. That's a story for another day and yeah...still not happy about that. Anyway, he likes helping his dad with decorating but some of the stuff in our creepy cache freaks him out. When he's out trick-or-treating, he'll even bypass houses decorated like ours because he's skeered. The irony is not lost on the Husband. We're hoping he grows out of this.

Hey! Come check out Lovelinks. There are other cool blogs to read and on Thursday you can vote for your favorite!

Hello Fall!

Fall has officially come to the Vegas Valley. Granted our trees are not a multi-colored hue but the weather has turned cooler. Like significantly cooler. It seems like we went from 90+ degrees, which we call "Groundhog Summer" to 50 & 60 degrees in a matter of days. I don't like it. I actually have to wear pants. No, I haven't become a nudist or anything, I mean long pants instead of the shorts I've been in since May.

Yeah okay, Fall can be nice. Different wardrobe, boots, Led Zeppelin. That last one makes sense only to me and my best friend who have always equated Autumn with Led Zep music. Don't ask. Having lived on the East Coast for most of my life I'm used to sudden temp changes so this should come as no surprise to me. Doesn't mean I have to like it. The weather people are calling for warmer temperatures in the coming days. This makes me happy. I've gotten used to being warm and sunny while other parts of the country are cold and miserable. I know, that's mean. But still, that's the price you pay for red, orange and golden leaves and all that Autumn fall foliage everyone loves. I prefer my green palm trees.

Increase the Peace

It breaks my heart to read in the news that another child committed suicide due to excessive bullying. Parents, teachers and other school officials need to actively get involved if they see or hear of a student being bullied. We need to communicate and give the victims support and understanding. And it needs to be taken seriously.

I was bullied in school and so was my husband. But back in those days we dealt with it ourselves. We either kept quiet or fought back against the bully. However, it seems that bullying has gotten worse through the years and gone beyond name-calling.

My son was bullied in kindergarten when we lived in NJ. Yes, kindergarten. The bully would take his things, pushed him in the stairwell and would take his lunch. When the husband and I found out we asked for a meeting with his teacher. The teacher knew immediately why we were there. She told me steps had been taken to separate the Little Man and the bully in the classroom and during lunch. We also told the Little Man to speak up against the bully. The taunting ended. At least for my son.

The bully however, probably still has victims because his father is a loudmouth jerkface so his son thinks that behavior is acceptable. I hope that little boy gets help.

I still routinely ask my son if someone at school is picking on him. He knows that he can talk to anyone in his family or a teacher if there is a problem. I also told him to speak up on behalf of another victim if he sees them getting bullied.

We need to watch our behavior because it directly influences our children. We need to speak up for those who can't. We need to increase the peace.

Help! I can't stop pinning!

I have a new addiction. It's called, Pinterest. When I'm not reading, writing, taking care of my son, being a wife, surfing the net, or watching TV, I'm on this site. At first I started out with one board on which to place pins called, Stuff that speaks to me. I'd post places I wanted to visit someday, quotes I liked, foods and drinks I wanted to try.

Then I started a second board called Notable Quotables, and I post quotes, sayings and witty, sarcastic comments on that one. Some of these are sentimental or thought-provoking and others are damn funny.

I now have 3 boards. My third one is called Delish dishes and it features all the yummy foods and drinks I want to try and/or make. These often make me drool but I catch myself before a line of spittle falls onto my keyboard thus making it sticky and possibly short-circuiting the thing. It could happen.

Everyday I go through and see what other people have "pinned" and then "repin" what I like onto one of my boards. And before it sounds like I'm totally goofing off here let me just say that I have learned a few things from this site. So it's been an educational time-waster. I also get to add my own description, thus utilizing my creativity, even if it's only one word like, "Yum!" to describe cream cheese filled brownies.

Maybe one day I'll get bored and stop pinning and move on to my next obsession. Until then, I'm thinking of starting another board dedicated to holiday decorating. Or maybe one just for those places I want to visit. Wait, that would be TWO new boards!!! Yay!

Reading: The Preferred Method of Torture For Moms Everywhere

I love to read and always have ever since I was little. In Elementary School my parents enrolled me in a 'Book of the Month' Club. When a new book arrived I sat down and immediately started to read. Even now when I get a new book I sit down and start reading as soon as I get home. I can lose myself and hours at a time with a good read.

Since I am a lover of books, it stands to reason that my son would follow in my footsteps.  I sit on the sofa reading my novel and he sits next to me with his book. Every once in a while we glance at one another and smile. It's a beautiful moment between us.

Cue reality...it's homework time and my son has to read for 10 minutes. In a row. He makes a face and whines. I insist.  And it's on, the reading tug-of-war.

Little Man: Do I have to?
Me: Yes, it's part of your homework.
Little Man: Can I do it later?
Me: No.

He sets a timer because he wants it to be an exact 10 minutes and not a moment longer.We take a book and go sit down. He starts to read in a half-assed, I'm-only-doing-this-because-you're-making-me way. After a couple of sentences we enter the bargaining phase.

Little Man: How about if we take turns? You read a paragraph and I read a paragraph?
Me: No.
Little Man: How about if I read a page and you read a page?
Me: No. You have to do all the reading.

More eye-rolling and frustrated sighs. He reads some more and before long the timer goes off. Ding! It doesn't matter if we're in mid-sentence, the minute the timer sounds it signals the end of this torture session.

I'm not sure where this distaste for books came from. When he was a baby I would read to him before bedtime. Like all other babies and toddlers, he loved Goodnight Moon and other nursery rhymes. Now I try to find books that fit his interests. Still, nothing. He'd rather play with the Jedi heroes than read about them.

My mom says that most boys don't like to read. It's a "quiet activity" and they like to do things. I think we're just opposites. I read and write well. He's good at math. My math leaves a lot to be desired. If he were the parent and I were the child and doing math problems was the homework assignment, I'm sure I would be the one whining and bargaining my way through it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did just that at his age.

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Dealing with Diabetes

I don't always like to be so serious. I'd much rather laugh and joke around and poke fun at people. But I thought writing about this might help me to deal. So, please bear with me as I get a little deep and do away with the humor for this post.

My son has diabetes, Type 1, formerly known as Juvenile Diabetes. The name may have changed but the disease is the same. What this means is that Christopher’s pancreas doesn’t work and his body can’t make insulin on its own. He was diagnosed at the end of June, just as Summer was getting into full swing. In the blink of an eye he went from being a healthy 7-year old boy who has never been seriously sick, aside from having colds and the usual pre-school runny nose, to having an auto-immune disease. He has never missed a day of school and I have the Academic Achievement certificates to prove that. I’m hoping diabetes won’t keep him from earning more Perfect Attendance certificates.

I remember when the doctor called to give me the news. She told me the blood test results had come back and Chris tested positive for diabetes. After that the conversation became like white noise to me because my mind kept repeating one word…diabetes. What started out as a possible bladder or urinary infection had turned into the worst-case scenario. I called my husband at work and told him to come home, that we needed to take Chris to the hospital. Then I went and hugged my son and told him the news. He said nothing at first but then it was like something clicked and he realized what was happening was bad. He cried while I held him and tried to be reassuring. Afterward he seemed better, almost unaffected by the news. It’s amazing how children have that ability to bounce back. I wish I could have that. When I told my parents, I cried a bit with my mom. Then I pulled myself together.

We all went to the hospital where I filled out forms and answered questions and tried to keep my son’s spirits up. The staff was friendly and kind to us. I held Chris’s hand as they inserted the IV into his arm and I spent the night in the hospital with him. I barely slept between the comings and goings of the nurses and worrying about my kid not to mention dealing with his diagnosis. Over the next two days we were educated on how to manage this disease. There were books and pamphlets to read and of course we had to learn how to check his blood glucose levels and how to administer his insulin shots. I took notes, paid attention and began my role as my son’s caregiver. I was on autopilot.

That night I went home to get some sleep and left Chris and his dad to spend the night in the hospital. Once at home, I allowed myself to fall apart. I cried. I raged. I wanted to know how and why this had happened. I still do.

The next day we were able to take him home along with our newly learned instructions for keeping him healthy and a backpack filled with supplies and literature. I was happy to have him home and determined to get back to some sense of normalcy. But normal is gone. It’s been replaced by needles, meters, test strips and carb counting. Before each meal Chris has to prick a fingertip and test his blood. Then he can eat. After his meal he gets an insulin injection.

I’m horrible at math. In school I barely passed. Yet, here I am, running numbers according to formulas for the sake of my son’s health. It’s ironic. It’s ridiculous. It’s necessary. I add up all the carbs he eats during a meal and divide that by the insulin-to-carbohydrate ratio (pre-determined by the doctor), which gives me A. I then take his blood glucose number and follow the formula, which gives me B. A + B = C and C is the amount of insulin he needs. I have a calculator next to his diabetes supplies.

This goes on every day. I watch as he pricks his little fingers to draw blood for testing. I pierce his smooth skin with a needle to give him his insulin. He counts to 3 and I insert. Most of the time it’s over and done. Sometimes he winces and sometimes he tells me it hurts. Each time it rips my heart apart and I find myself cursing silently that he must go through this. If he had to get diabetes why couldn’t he have Type 2 and just take medication? No, he has to endure needles, and pin pricks, and test strips, and if his numbers run too high he has to pee on another test strip. In the rawest of terms, this disease sucks.

In the beginning following his diagnosis, I bounced between two emotions: sadness and anger. I was sad that my son has this horrible disease and will have it for the rest of his life. And I was angry for the same reasons. I still carry them inside me and have yet to make peace with it all.

Chris has come to accept it. He understands what he has and what he must do to maintain his health but he doesn’t let it hinder him. As long as he can keep riding his bike, playing baseball, swimming and playing his video games, he’s happy. Of course there are times when he hates diabetes and doesn’t want to prick his finger and I understand that. It’s an inconvenience. But then I tell him that unfortunately, he has to do this. We’ve always tried to teach him about choices and this disease is in direct conflict with that.  

It’s especially hard when he tells me it’s unfair and he wishes he didn’t have diabetes. At those times I hug him and tell him I agree. He has the right to feel however he wants because this is his disease and his life. And while I try to put a positive spin on it and keep the smiles coming, I hide my true emotions, which make me want to lash out at someone or something. I want to hold someone accountable. I want someone to blame. I want to hit someone hard and transfer my anger and frustration onto them. But, I can’t.

I joined a support group at my local chapter of Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, which meets once a month. It helps to go there and share my feelings. I’ve met other parents who have gone through or are going through the same as me. I learn new information about the disease and bring home new reading material. It helps to keep me focused on what’s really important: my son’s health.

Our next goal is to get Chris on an insulin pump, which will do away with the injections he gets. It should make life easier and more comfortable for him. Ultimately we hope for a cure. Chris is optimistic that they will find one in his lifetime. I pray they do.

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Funny Email Stuff

Someone sent me this in an email. Sarcasm, I love it! If any of these offend you, don't blame me. I didn't write them, I'm just the messenger.

NOTES FROM THE EDGE OF LIFE

 Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..."
Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all
dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little
busy, ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

I'm Not Laughing At You

Laughing and cracking jokes is one of my defense mechanisms. It may be inappropriate and rude but I can't help it, that's how I cope sometimes when things are a bit rough or uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I crack up at funerals (well, there was that one time but I couldn't help it, and in my defense, the husband and my mom were also holding in hysterics). But I'm getting off track here.

Regarding the recent floods in the northeast and the subsequent rain that NY and NJ have been getting the last couple of days, a recent weather report said the Susquehanna River would be rising and causing floods and evacuations.

I turned to my dad and asked, "What river?" with a slight grin on my face. He knew where I was going with this and said, "Susquehanna." Then we launched into the Abbott & Costello bit about the Susquehanna Hat Company and laughed.

So I was thinking, am I the only one who thought this during that report? Just like, whenever I hear about the goings-on in Libya, I immediately think about that scene in Back To the Future where the van of Libyans come after Doc Brown and he yells, "The Libyans!".

In both cases, I feel bad for the innocents involved but I can't help how my mind works and the comedy it produces, even in the face of bad stuff happening in the world.

Abbott & Costello Bit

The Libyans!

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Happy Labor Day!

Today is Labor Day. For those lucky enough to be employed, especially in this horrible economy, we celebrate you. Hopefully you have the day off to enjoy as you choose whether you barbecue, go swimming or just do nothing. I have plans to just hang out and relax with the Little Man.

What's In A Name?

My son has a famous classmate. Ok, not really, but the boy does have a famous name. I won't mention it here (in the interest of his privacy) but apparently he was named after a famous Hollywood Western movie star. No, not John Wayne. Not Clint Eastwood, either. Just give up because I'm not telling. Unless you offer money. Or Kit Kat bars. Then I might consider spilling the beans.

Anyway, whenever there was a school awards ceremony he would no doubt get an award. The teacher would say, "For Whatever Academic Achievement " followed by his name and my mom and me always giggled. Not a lot of people got the joke. You had to be a fan of old spaghetti westerns or at least growing up in that time period to get it.

So, two weeks ago we were in my son's classroom, attending his third grade orientation. I walked around the desks and read the name place cards to see if I recognized any of Little Man's school mates, and there it was...the Western Movie Star. I giggled. I quietly called my mom over to show her. She smiled and giggled. Then, the Western Movie Star looked up at us like who are these weirdos and why are they standing at my desk and giggling?

I hope we didn't give him a complex. That he didn't go home that day and say, "Mom I like my teacher and the kids are cool but at orientation these two women came over to my desk and giggled."

Listen Western Movie Star, I know how you feel. I, too, was named after someone famous. Worse yet, my name and subsequent nickname were both immortalized in song in a famous movie. If I had a nickel every time someone broke into song when I introduced myself I'd have the mother crap load of nickels. So, I'm sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable that day. But, I can't promise that I won't still giggle when I hear your name.

Back to School

My son went back to school this past Monday. And for the first time since he started Pre-School, I was apprehensive. You see, at the start of Summer he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. So in addition to all the "back to school" items I had to purchase and prepare I also had to get a Diabetes kit together to keep at school. Can we say, "Hassle"? There are times when this friggin disease pisses me off so you can see that I am still struggling to fully make peace with it. Anyway, for the whole summer my husband and I have been his sole care-takers when it comes to testing his blood glucose and giving him insulin shots. Now, I have to turn part of that over to school personnel. Someone else has to be responsible for the Little Man's health. His teacher (who so far seems very sweet and understanding) has to keep an eye on him during class lest his sugar levels get too low. A nurse has to administer his shots. He, himself, has to be responsible for telling someone when he starts to feel as he calls it "shaky".

Well, after a few small bumps in the road, all is going well, so far. I take it one day at a time. I'll bear the burden of frustration and worry because I want him to enjoy school and learn and have fun. He has bigger things to deal with like learning cursive writing and picking teams for dodgeball.

Happy Birthday To You!

Eight years ago, today, I was exhausted, sore, messy and a new mother. Today I am Mama to an 8-year old little rascal who makes me laugh harder than I ever thought possible, brings tears of joy to my face and fills my heart with love to overflowing.

It's hard to believe he's 8. Sometimes he acts like he's 20 and sometimes he acts like he's...well, 8. That's my excuse when he farts in public and announces it while laughing. "He's 8." Of course, my husband does the same thing, but he's an eight-year old at heart.

To celebrate his 8th birthday we took him and his best friend to Adventuredome Theme Park, located inside Circus Circus hotel & casino. They had a great time. They rode the Frog Hopper, which is a children's version of the Sling Shot, about 20 times; sometimes 5 times in a row. I captured the fun on camera while Dad supervised them and went on a couple of rides with them. All in all it was a great day. And big props to me for conceiving this idea for birthday fun. Not that I'm tooting my own horn or anything. Ok, maybe just a little.

Shake, Rattle & Roll

I miss all the good stuff since I moved away. A 5.8 earthquake hit D.C. today and was felt up and down the East Coast as far as Albany, NY and down to the Carolinas, even as far as Detroit. People panicked. Buildings were evacuated. It must have been a crazy scene. Me, I would have loved it. But that's because I'm not normal and because I experienced one in the Earthquake Capital of California many years ago when I was on vacation with a good friend. Nothing makes you feel more alive than watching your belongings shake and feeling the floor move on its own. I am glad that no one was seriously injured today and no major damage was done.

New Name, New Look

Welcome to the blog formerly known as "Independent Babbling". I'm going to try and be a better blogger. So to commemorate this I revamped the look and changed the name. My goal is to write something or post on here every day. I'm also trying to take my writing more seriously, too by writing an article or story a day (or days, or week) for publication.

Hopefully I can do a better job at keeping this blog current than I have in the past. And hopefully some of my stuff can actually get published.

Of course I may grow bored or tired or restless with this name and layout and might change it again in the future. Until then I am "SINsationally Me" with the pretty colored borders.

Four Months Gone?

Really? It's been 4 whole months since I posted something? How embarrassing! Especially for a writer.

Okay, so here's an update on what's been going on.

The weather has gotten warmer. I'm still unhappily unemployed. I have discovered a new weight loss/health supplement and it's started to make a difference! I still love living in Las Vegas. I still love to read and write and find spelling errors that make me crazy!

If I could find a job that pays me to write from home I would be so happy. Ecstatic! Deliriously over the moon! So far......not happening. I am not abandoning the writing dream, it just moves from forefront t0 backburner a lot.

Las Vegas rocks!!! The weather is amazing. Everyday!! Sunshine and blue skies daily. I've always known I was destined to live in a warm climate. Driving at night, especially on or near the Strip is the best! I love the neon and I still get such a rush driving past all the casinos. I'm such a city girl! A Sin City Girl!

Hire Me Dammit!!!!!

I have mad proofreading skills. I can write very well. I have more than 10 years of professional office experience. I can operate office equipment which includes running diagnostic tests on copiers and printers and changing toner. I know my way around a computer and I learn quickly. So why is it so hard for me to find a job??

Granted it would be convenient for me to stay home and telecommute but still. I probably know more than most people who do the damn job postings do! I need to work!! Every day I scour the online want ads from Yahoo hotjobs to Monster.com to the local want ads and everything in between. Craigslist has become a breeding ground for scammers and cheapskate companies who want the moon but will pay only a pittance.

I have applied to many. I even heard back from some that ended up being shady. The rest give me Nothing! Granted we are in a lousy economy. There are still some job sectors that are growing and need help. Hello!! I'm here!! Hire Me Dammit!!!

Indie What?

Babbling. You know that incessant rambling you do to yourself while working on something difficult? Just above a whisper but not loud enough to be understood? I do that. I used to do it at the office I worked at in NJ mainly when I was filing our taxes - yes me with the bad math skills. Or when I was deciphering the salesman's notes for transcription.

One day I was at my desk doing one or the other and the girl I worked with was at her desk doing some equally difficult and mind-boggling assignment. We were both mumbling aloud to ourselves when our boss walked by. He stopped, looked at us and asked, "What is this independent babbling going on?" We laughed, went back to whatever was plaguing us and he continued on his way. Thus, the title for my blog was born.

PS - I still babble independently.

Denied

I applied for a Chase Mastercard thru my Continental Frequent Flyer program. I was denied. On the outside looking in, my credit is pretty trashed. More like in the crapper after someone had eaten a batch of beans and needed to "let off steam". This is not completely my fault. The current state of foreclosure on my old house - thanks to the ever capable Washington Mutual, now JP Morgan Chase Banking facility- is to blame. (See one of my previous posts about the Short Sale fiasco my family and I went through and you will understand.

Still, the banks keep getting bailed out and will more than likely write off my foreclosure, thus enabling them to receive the full amount of the "loss". I, on the other hand, have damaged credit and high debts. Can you say "one-sided"? Lop-sided? Tremendously unfair? All those would apply.

So, why did I even bother to apply? Desperation. My dog needed surgery before a huge tumor in his body would burst and potentially be life-threatening. I didn't have the cash needed. Plus, I wanted to see if there was a slight chance I would be approved. Wrong. On the other hand, I applied for something called Care Credit and was approved. My dog had the surgery, had the tumor removed and is now doing much better. Plus, I think this approval will reflect positively on my credit report. It's a start.

A Little A to Z Spell-checkup

My husband calls me the human spell check. I can spot a misspelled word a mile away. I can't help it. I read the same thing hundreds of other people do and there it is, glaring at me. An incorrectly spelled word. Once, we went to the Star Trek Experience exhibit at the Las Vegas Hilton, and we toured "the bridge" that was used on the show for the Enterprise. I looked at the pretend buttons and what they were used for and I saw it! A misspelled word. Instead of "torpedo" the button read "torpeod". I giggled and called my husband over and he couldn't believe that his beloved show couldn't spell. The tour guide said I was the first person to ever notice that.

Since this ability comes so naturally to me I decided to put it to some use and started my own online Proofreading Services company. I hired a fantastic web designer (since I know zip about that) and in early November, http://www.atozproofreading.com/ was launched. Stop by and check it out and hire me to proof your work.

Where Has All the Time Gone?

My but it's been a while. What can I say? I've been busy? Since my last post, Emily and Lorelei, I mean, me and mom have made up and are now as we once were. Me and my family have been living in Las Vegas these past 5 months and love it. My parents came to visit in October and spent everyday with Christopher. We were there too but not as much. They also looked at houses for sale. While it looks as if they will be moving out here this year, my dad still needs the occasional nudge to move along. My mother, on the other hand, would be living here already if she had her own way.

Halloween was different than we are used to. Not as many kids trick-or-treating in our development and not as many houses decorated. Seems when us East Coasters decorate, we go BIG. However, you couldn't beat the weather. While it rained back home, it was calm and warmer here.

Thanksgiving was quiet with only the two of us eating turkey and all the fixings and my son having his Mac n cheese. Again, the weather was warmer and not wet.

Christmas was nice. For the first time ever, we did not put up a tree, but we did put out other decorations both inside and out. The reason we didn't put up the tree was because we flew back to NJ to spend Christmas with my parents and to see our friends. It was great to be back, although it was freezing with snow on the ground. Five months in a milder climate had spoiled us.

New Year's Eve saw us back in Vegas, watching the Strip fireworks from high atop a hill in the mountains. It was nice and quiet but strange to not have a countdown with Dick Clark.

Happy New Year!

So Long Emily Gilmore, We'll Miss You

We're moving to Las Vegas, Nevada. We've talked about it for years. It was a definite decision last year and a reality now. My mother has known this the entire time. Just now it is hitting her. And hard.

Suddenly the child she adored, her pride and joy, me, is in league with the devil. Why? Because I am taking my son, her grandchild, with me. Now I understand her sadness. She has been a part of his life for 6 years. But she acts as if I am moving to Greenland and that she will never ever see him again. Ever. When in fact, she and my dad plan to visit us in October and will be moving out there themselves within a year or so.

I knew she would have a hard time with our leaving. I figured there would be tears and great emotion. I had no idea she would channel her inner Emily Gilmore (Gilmore Girls tv show) and rain down such levels of guilt that would make even the most Jewish of mothers proud.

I wish she would be more understanding and supportive of me and this decision. It's a big, scary move and well a smile and a hug would go a long way. We used to speak on the phone every day. Now, we hardly talk. In fact, I avoid her. I've become Lorelai, cringing when the phone rings and postponing seeing my own mother.

I seriously hope she comes to understand and forgive me soon. I love her but right now I can't deal with her.

To understand my Gilmore references click the link below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilmore_Girls

Moving Right Along

Much has happened since I last wrote. We decided to stop jumping through the banks' hoops and just move to Vegas. We went out there in the beginning of July, found a nice house to rent and here we are....on the eve of the Big Move.

We were supposed to leave last weekend but.....the best laid plans....
The weather has been uncooperative with tons of rain and thunderstorms which hindered putting our "stuff" into the pod that we rented to haul our "stuff" across country. Alas, that phase is complete and the pod people (makes me laugh everytime) came to pick up said pod and began transporting it to our destination.

And last Sunday while going downstairs to my parent's basement to do laundry, I misjudged the last step and fell.....breaking my ankle. . Thankfully 90% of everything was packed already.

My new home is a bigger house for less than I was paying here in Jersey. Go figure. It is in a gated community (fancy schmancy) and about 20 minutes from the LV Strip. Now if we can just get out of here already....

Nightmare in Short Sale Land

I put my house up for short sale 9 months ago. We asked and were offered $325,000 of which we owed Washington Mutual $303,000. They would have received the majority of the money and anything left over would go to the junior lien holders of my house (GMAC). WaMu dragged their heels, lost paperwork, refused to return phonecalls and bungled the sale so much that in Dec. 2008, our buyers lost their mortgage commitment and the sale fell through.

We re-listed the house for short sale but since the housing market dropped we were forced to reduce and asked for $285,000. We were offered $275,000 by a new couple, and accepted. This was January of 2009. More paperwork to be filed. More unreturned phone calls and incompetence from WaMu. Finally my lawyer contacted the supervisor of the negotiator handling our file. We made headway and reached an agreement. The sale could go through. This was at the end of April. We needed GMAC to comply, which they did. Then suddenly and without warning the negotiator handling our file at WaMu was fired and a new person hired. We were told she needed to familarize herself with our case and re-opened the file which was originally closed and agreed upon by all parties. Again we were at a standstill.

GMAC asked for $8,000 out of pocket monies in order to release the lien and settle our account with them. We balked but accepted. Then this new negotiator upon hearing that we were giving GMAC money, demanded that we pay an additional $2,000 to WaMu. She called it "Good Faith" money. Yeah right!!!!! She told me on the phone that if we could pay GMAC money then we could pay WaMu money too. I DO NOT have this kind of money readily available. I still need money to move, pay 1st and last month's rent at a new place and still pay current bills, groceries, etc. Ms. Babette Favor, our negotiator at WaMu, could care less for our situation.

My husband and I are currently unemployed too, due to the economic crisis so money is extremely tight. If we do not pay the additional $2,000, the sale falls thru. Now, they could have gotten most if not all of their money back had they been professional last year. Now we are in danger of losing these buyer's because their mortgage commitment runs out June 19.

Oh, and in the meantime we keep getting letters from WaMu threatening foreclosure. It would seem that they are not at all interested in cooperating with us and getting their money, they would rather see us foreclose and everyone loses everything. We did all we could on our end to make this short sale a success but WaMu has consistently put up roadblocks.

They are the most reprehensible company I have ever had the misfortune to deal with.

Writing Drought

I'm all revved up to start writing again. Poetry, short stories, articles, you name it and I want to write it. I have been reading up on how to get published and how to be a better writer. Problem is...I have no topic. I have nothing to say. My muse just sits there.

I realize that this blog and this very entry contradicts the problem I stated. Still, I cannot make money selling this blog or my thoughts as an article or story.

I'm in a drought and just need a little rain to get things going again. I won't label this Writer's Block because that's too cliche. And serious sounding.

Funny. My analogy to a drought and rain is funny. I'm not a big fan of rain. Especially when it's cold. It's one thing to be cold but to be cold and wet is just plain miserable. We've been having more rain than I like lately. On the flip side, we are planning to move to Las Vegas next month....a place that hardly sees any rain. Perhaps I should have likened my situation to a desert and rain but then I would only be writing in short spurts that come only a few times a year.

I keep remembering the old adage, "This too shall pass." And the rain shall come and the words will flow.

Facebook MIA

Facebook has become an addiction. Far beyond its initial networking means, people now use it as another way to let the world know what they are doing. Members collect friends as numismatists do coins. It's a popularity contest. The more friends you have, the more people you know.

Members put up tons of pictures from their past and present. They tell what they are doing. Sandy is...unhappy today. This prompts "friends" to ask, "Why?" and a mini conversation on my wall begins. There is a chat feature so you no longer need to email or IM. Facebook offers games, social clubs and a host of activities to keep you hostage on their site.

I am not a Facebook addict. I signed up several months ago to see what the hub-bub was about. A couple friends asked me, "Are you on Facebook?" They encouraged me and finally I decided to join the masses.

I don't see the fuss. Perhaps that's just me. I don't have a big need to befriend someone I barely spoke to in High School. I am wary of posting pictures of my family and friends in such a wide open forum. In an age where thieves are getting more creative and identity theft is running rampant, I would rather not open my life up to public display. I'm cynical. I'm suspicious. I'm in the minority. So many others continue to use the site as their lifeline to the world. A few use it as it was meant to be...a place to network, connect and re-connect.

Right now Facebook is the major hype. Who knows what the next great technical pet rock will be. Speaking of pets...my poor superpet on Facebook (one of the game/fun options) is so neglected since I haven't accessed him in months. Thank goodness for my Facebook friends or he'd probably be dead.

Real TV

Ok, I admit it. I am shamelessly addicted to the Real Housewives on Bravo TV. The Atlanta housewives annoyed me and the OC ones were mildly amusing. But the NY housewives I loved!

I am currently watching the newest addition, The Real Housewives of NJ and well....the jury is still out. I watch the show much like people watching a train wreck. Part of you knows you should look away. But you can't! Still, I root for the gals across the Hudson. The NJ housewives I can't warm up to. None of them reach me. And none of them portray REAL Jersey women. I know, Atlanta and NY women said the same thing but.. Come On! We do not all act the way they do.

In the meantime...I tune in every Tuesday night at 10 to watch "The Real Train Wreck of TV".

Web Page Designer Extraordinaire

I spent the last few days reading, researching and trying my hand at new online design stuff. I actually designed my own web page. It's really basic and done totally on the cheap (free!). But it's mine. I joined Peapod as an affiliate so for every person that signs up thru my site, I make some money. Check it out on the left hand margin here (check out Peapod). Will I get rich off this? No. However, I learned a lot more about website design and all that techie stuff. I plan on hiring a web designer to create a site for my online Proofreading company. I want that to look professional.

Poetry

There's nothing more beautiful than words arranged in a colorful way or spoken with passion. These are but a few favorite poems of mine.

My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends
It gives a lovely light.
- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Nothing Gold Can Stay - Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

Collection of quotes

Do the right thing. As opposed to doing the next thing right. - Bill Murray

Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid. - Goethe; also spoken in the movie "Almost Famous"

Give in to desire and see only the illusion. Free yourself of desire and see the greatness within. - Lao Ma on Xena

You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny. - Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

Karma is the eternal assertion of human freedom - our thoughts, our words and deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves. - Swami Vivekananda

An integral being knows without going, sees without looking, and accomplishes without doing. - Lao Tzu

Nature is the perfect teacher. It reveals the order in chaos.

Do not place importance on unimportant things.

Some people have money, others are rich.

To conquer others is to have power. To conquer yourself is to know the way.

Everyday we have is one day more than we deserve. - Robert Redford’s character in Up Close & Personal

From Tuesdays With Morrie

Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent. - Buddhist proverb
Love each other, or perish. - Auden
Love is the only rational act. - Levine
What we take we must replenish. - Morrie Schwartz
Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Morrie Schwartz

My Thoughts, My Views, My Stuff

I created this blog as a place to house my....stuff. You know, a place for everything and everything in it's place. Recently, at night while I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come I have begun to make lists in my head. I have a list of my favorite movies. These are movies that I watch over and over when they are on TV and can quote random lines from. List subject to additions or changes at author's whim.

A League of Their Own
Airheads
Back To the Future Trilogy
Christmas Vacation
Coneheads
Disney’s The Kid
Doc Hollywood
Father of the Bride (remake)
Godfather Trilogy
Gone With the Wind
Grease
It’s A Wonderful Life
Jaws
Little Women
Meet Joe Black
Miracle on 34th Street
Monsters Inc.
Ocean’s 11
Ocean’s 13
Point Break
That Night
When Harry Met Sally
Wizard of Oz