Saturday, December 28, 2013

Some New Year's funnies for ya.

Since much of New Year's focuses on making resolutions to better yourself in the new year I figured I would post a few funnies that make light of this.

Instead of big, lifestyle changing resolutions maybe I'll make smaller, more manageable ones like, how short to cut my hair.


This sums it up pretty well...


This made me laugh harder than it should have.




Saturday, December 21, 2013

Seasonal inspiration from TV commercials

I'm a big sap these days with all the sentimental holiday ads on TV.  Sure certain Christmas movies get me all choked up. For example, "The Family Man" is one. The scene at the end where Nicholas Cage's character confronts Tea Leoni's character in the airport, and before he can finish saying "We have a house in Jersey" I'm grabbing a tissue and dabbing my eyes. Yeah, I know.

Maybe you've seen that Apple commercial called, "Misunderstood"? It's where the young teen is shown being all introverted with his cell phone while his entire family is having all sorts of holiday fun. Then, the twist at the end. He was only quietly filming everything to make a memorable video which he shares with everyone on Christmas morning. The family gets emotional. Grandma wipes away a tear. Mom gets all weepy. And...I need a kleenex.

Then, there's the Kohl's commercial, "Christmas Surprise". A couple enters an apartment and decorates it complete with tree, stockings hung by the fireplace, and other little holiday touches. Then you see an elderly woman enter the apartment building and the couple runs across the hall to their own apartment where they quietly peek from behind their door as the woman opens her door and sees her place all decked out for Christmas. Sniff, sniff.

The holidays can be a stressful time with all the rushing, shopping, and wrapping that even the sweetest of Bob Cratchits can become a seasonal Grinch. So, thanks to both of these companies for reminding us that family and kindness are what's important, especially at this time of year. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A post of Christmas Past

I know this is cheating, but, I'm re-running a post from two years ago. Because, I have nothing new to say (which I admit is sad) and because it's a favorite of mine. Also, it's a running gag in my family again, this year. So we're either doing a lot of deja vu-ing or we're just plain boring. I go with the latter. Anyway, enjoy!

Here's to not getting the shaft this Christmas

There are a few presents under my tree. I had to wrap them and place them there because of Cousin Eddie. I'll explain. One of my family's favorite Christmas movies is "Christmas Vacation." If you haven't seen it then this post will make no sense to you. If you have seen the movie, carry on.

Well, Little Man bought a few token gifts for family at his school's Holiday Boutique. A few days later he put them in their little gift bags and placed them under the tree. Then everyday he would check to see if any more presents were there. My dad (in jest) referenced the Chevy Chase holiday movie and said "Maybe we're all getting the shaft this Christmas." Little Man asked him what that meant and my dad explained.

Excerpt from the movie:
Clark: "And if you believe in him, and you believe in your mom, and you believe in your... your dad, and if you've been good all year round, Santa Clause is going to bring you something."
Ruby Sue: "Sometimes I think all that Santa crap's just bull. If he was so real, how come we didn't get squat last year? We didn't do nothing wrong, and we still got the shaft."

Little Man seemed a bit concerned and said "I was very good this year. I hope I don't get the shaft." Then my mom told me my dad felt bad and that I should hurry up and put some things under the tree to reassure Little Man that he was getting presents for Christmas.

Thanks, dad.

And thanks, Cousin Eddie, for not getting a job (in 7 years!) and buying your kids Christmas presents so that they wouldn't get the shaft, thereby making it possible for my dad to tell my kid about your Christmas fail and making me wrap presents and put them under my tree earlier than usual.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Let's talk underwear

Last night I watched the Victoria's Secret annual Fashion Show. And in between looking at all the pretty lingerie and hoping no one fell on the runway I declared that I would not be eating again. Ever. And then I proceeded to go have some cheetos. Because well, cheetos!

Tonight while surfing channels as I kill time until the Duck Dynasty Christmas Special I came upon a K Mart commercial for  Joe Boxer (link). I heard about this commercial being called a bit controversial. A bunch of guys in boxers shaking their hips to We Wish You A Merry Christmas like one would ring jingle bells. Am I the only one who thought this commercial was cute? It didn't offend me at all. I wonder what that means?

Friday, December 6, 2013

These things make mine the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny effin Kaye

There are certain traditions that I uphold every year for Christmas. much to the amusement (or misery depending on how you look at it) to my husband. These simple little repeated customs make me happy. And that's a good thing. So, in the spirit of the season, I'm going to share a few of the things I look forward to every Christmas without fail.

It doesn't matter how old I get, watching A Charlie Brown Christmas is a must. And Chris watches it with me which makes it even better. By that same token I watch Christmas Vacation every year as well. At least several times during the season. I know it by heart but that doesn't matter because it never gets old. Is it wrong that my kid loves this movie as much as I do?

Hearing the Waitresses sing Christmas Wrapping is a must. Sure some people love traditional songs like White Christmas or Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire and I enjoy them, too, but this song is just fun. And maybe I love it because it's non-traditional to others. Here, give it a listen.

Ever since moving out here we started the tradition of going to the Bellagio hotel & casino to see their conservatory all decorated in a Christmas theme with tons of flowers. They change the look for each holiday/season but the Christmas one is truly beautiful. It's a monster tourist trap but I endure the mobs of people (thank you for paying our taxes!) because I love it. For the first two years here we had Chris pose among some of the displays and used the pic for our annual Christmas card.

A few days before Christmas we drive around and look at the lights and decorations on people's houses. We play music and drive aimlessly throughout the neighborhood, which admittedly looks very stalkerish or at the very least like we're casing out the joint for future burglary but so far no one has called Metro to report us so we'll continue with it this year.

All these things mean Christmas to me. Without them the holiday would be like poorly lit Christmas lights. Clark, the little lights aren't twinkling.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Hurray for cold weather or, why those in colder climes will hate me

It's 40-something degrees out and this morning there were snow flurries. In the desert!! I know, pretty wild.

Now, I'm a big fan of summer and I love the hot weather, which makes sense considering I live in the middle of a desert that averages warm temps 9 months out of the year. However, this cold front makes me happy.

Why? Because I'm one of those weird believers that you need cold winter weather for it to feel Christmassy. Having grown up in northern New Jersey for most of my life where cold and Christmas go hand-in-hand like, well, like a hand in a glove, this is nice.

I think I'm the only one who feels this way in the Vegas Valley. I was smiling in my heavy jacket and boots as I walked from my car to the store this afternoon. It was cool and it was windy and I didn't care.

My mom, who was wearing a sweater and turning up the heat in her house as she sipped hot tea said, "It's going to be cold like this for the next few days." My reply was, "I know! Isn't it great?" To which she gave me that familiar you can't be my child look as she shook her head.

I know it won't last and soon it'll warm up to at least the 50s. And I'm sure all those living way up North or in the snowy Mid-west who are freezing their rump roasts off and have already had to dig themselves out of a snowy mess may want to lynch me but still. Call me old-fashioned (or an idiot) but I'd rather see Santa in his warm, red suit flying his sleigh than in his shorts and flip flops delivering toys in his dune buggy.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I'm still here

Gentle Readers/Fellow Bloggers/Whoever is still reading this:

I'm still here. Sorry for not posting in a more consistent manner. I wish I could say I've been off doing fabulous things and then post pictures documenting that fabulosity. But I haven't. There's been plenty of topics and whatnot to post. I just was not in the right frame of mind to be here.

The truth is that back in early October I went off my anxiety meds. Lack of health insurance kind of dictated that choice. It's been a roller-coaster ride from hell since. Picture the boat ride in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Believe me, Veruca Salt, you DO NOT want a boat like that! I'll spare you the details. But I will say that it makes for an effective campaign against doing hardcore drugs. Not that I ever planned to or even thought about it. I mean I can't even afford legal drugs so let's be real here.

Today is a good day. And I felt like writing. And sharing. So, here I am. I'll try to post a lot more. It's the least I can do for those of you who show up. I might do a recap about some of what I've been wanting to write about. Should be cool. Maybe I'll throw in a bunch of Christmas type posts, too.

Later dudes. Let 'er rip. Hang ten.                  (name that movie)