Saturday, August 31, 2013

So....I wrote a little book

Yes, I did. And I published it myself because finding someone to publish it for me is a useless exercise in futility, much like finding an ice cold glass of water in Hell. It's more of a novella because well, it's not long enough to be a novel. But it is based on real life events. I haven't done much (at all) in the way of advertising because I'm way too lazy and secretly hoping my book will garner lots of readers and take off and make me a wealthy and well-known author. Or, more realistically, I'll have one reader. I hope my mom likes it.

Here's a link to my book:

Divorce: A Family Affair

If you're so inclined, thanks for buying and reading it. Hope you like what I wrote.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Let's go to the Blog Hop

Psst.....I've joined The Collective. No, not the Star Trek Borg Collective. Besides, I'm more of a Klingon girl. But seriously, check out my super-cool, awesome-y badge there on the right. It's under the members, left of my daily blog read. See it? Now click and go see what's happening, hotstuff. Wait, not right now. Finish reading this post first.

So yeah I made a few little changes. Added some new blogs to my list, re-titled a sub-heading. Joined a blog-hop, which is like a 50s sock hop only without the music, the poodle skirts and greasers, but with lots of new blogs waiting to be read and linked up with. I'm so excited! I feel like a blogging Indiana Jones who's just discovered a treasure trove of new sites to read and new people to verify that I'm not the only crazy woman in the world with a lead foot and little patience who likes her Pepsi way too much and re-creates her time in college by staying up late every night.

Of course, this blog hoppy thing started yesterday (they start on Mondays) and I'm a day late and a buck fifty short as usual.  Officially it's a collective social blog hop party which closes Wednesday so I'm only fashionably late. Anyway, I'm off to read a few new blogs, leave some witty comments, commiserate with other moms and hopefully bond with other inappropriate women.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Cupcakes and Nemo

Today is the first day of school. It's also my kid's birthday, so this day is both awesome and sucky in his mind. Sorry hon, if you had come out 10 days sooner on your actual due date you wouldn't have this problem and you'd get to celebrate your birthday in fantastic summer vacation-y splendor.

I told him to look on the bright side. 1. There will most likely be no homework being that it's the first day. and 2. I'm bringing in cupcakes and because of that he will be the coolest kid in class for a while, at least until the next class birthday comes along. Woo hoo!

So this year he's in 5th grade. (What the?) And he turns 10, which means he's officially a double-digiter (Where the hell has the time gone?) Anyway, in honor of these two milestones I not only sang the Happy Birthday song but I ran around his room yelling "First day of school! First day of school!" like Nemo did in "Finding Nemo". I got a smile for the song and an irritated look for my Nemo rendition. Everyone's a critic.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Back to school humor

In honor of back-to-school week (for my son, at least) here are some school funnies.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Don't even think about re-making these movies

 When Hollywood runs out of ideas for movies, they re-make existing movies. Some are good, if not better, than the original. And others leave me shaking my head and wondering, For the love of all that's holy, why?

Take for example, Halloween. Classic fright film. Top-notch movie back in its day. Fast forward 20+ years and it gets a re-boot. Although it turned out pretty good, I was still not happy about this.

Here are five movies that I feel should never be re-made. Ever. Under penalty of death.

1. Grease
This movie was pure fun. It had great music, an awesome cast and did I mention memorably great music? School certainly would have been more fun if I attended Rydell High. Back then, Grease was the word; and still is. The sequel was ok but please, no remakes. I'm hopelessly devoted to the original.

2. Jaws
Chief Brody may have needed a bigger boat, but movie-goers didn't need any more encouragement to stay out of the water. What it lacked in the blood and guts of today's horror/thriller movies, it made up for with a man-eating villain and a theme in F and F sharp that instilled audiences with fear.  The sequels may have bit the big one, but any remakes would be a bite in the ass. A shark-sized bite.

3. Gone With The Wind
This movie was epic long before epic was the cool phrase of the day. Love. War. Rhett. Scarlett. And who better to play them but dashing Clark Gable and beautiful Vivian Leigh?  I, for one, cannot imagine anyone else playing those characters so I say fiddle-dee-dee to any remake.

4. The Godfather
This was is the classic mafia movie. I love it and I loved both sequels, as well. Even if they made me an offer I couldn't refuse, I'd consider any remake an act of war.

5. Back to the Future
 Seriously, what's not to love about this movie? You've got a  DeLorean as a time machine and Rev. Jim (from Taxi fame) as Doc Brown. Set in the 80s when I was growing up and subsequently in the 50s when life was simpler and all-American, all done to a great soundtrack by Huey Lewis. And, there is only one Marty McFly and that is Michael J. Fox. To re-make this movie would seriously disrupt the time-space continuum.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Diabetes in your school backpack

School days, school days
Dear old Insulin ruled days

It's that time again. Back to school shopping for clothes, back packs, pencils. AND diabetes supplies. Ah the joys of being a D-Mama. (That's Diabetes Mom for those not in the know).

While the rest of the school age world color-coordinates their pencil cases and notebooks my son and I get to take inventory of his diabetic accessories.

Meter/PDM (Personal Diabetes Manager)?

Extra batteries because this bit of technology sucks the juice out of them so quickly?


Several extra pods in case the one he's currently wearing just "happened to come off"?

Alcohol swabs?

Blood glucose tabs?
Granola bars?
Capri suns for those scary lows?
Check. Check. Check.

Glucagon for that super scary low that needs immediate insulin?

Insulin and insulin pen in case his pump comes off or stops working?

Doctor's orders signed by his endocrinologist and me?

Once this is all taken care of, then we can load up his Minecraft backpack with Avengers notebooks,  folders and lunchpack.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

We interrupt your summer break and nicely planned out schedule with this monkey wrench

This morning whilst I was still lounging in bed, Christopher's endocrinologist (diabetes doctor) called to reschedule his appointment. I'm not even officially up yet and this might require brain power so already I'm rolling my eyes.

Some background:

I make these appointments 3 months in advance while I'm checking out from the previous appointment.

I come to these appointments armed with days off/on vacation/breaks so I can schedule around school. (I don't, yet, have the new school schedule and I was praying I wouldn't need it for this reschedule.)

There are less than 5 pediatric endocrinologists in the entire city and there are (sadly) many kids with diabetes. Because of this, our doctor is booked months in advance.

The office scheduler tells me that the doctor will be out of the office until the 27th of the month and I groan because that's the week he starts back to school. Figures! So I ask in a calm but pleading voice if she has anything earlier, maybe with the other doctor on staff. And when she says she has an opening for the prior week I breathe a sigh of relief. Actually it was more of a W00t!! Yee-ha! And Praise Jesus! Mini crisis averted.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

When he calls me a werewolf, he does so with love

The other day Bill and I were watching TV and a commercial came on that asked, "Do you believe in werewolves?".

"Yes," Bill replied. Then he turned to me. "I'm married to one."

"Only when I'm really hungry," was my answer back to him.

"Ain't that the truth," was his final comment. Then we both laughed.

I love how we can sit and playfully insult each other. However, him calling me a werewolf doesn't quite insult me the way it should. Although in the werewolf vs. vampire query I always preferred the vampire. Maybe I could be a hybrid like Michael in the movie Underworld.