Monday, September 30, 2013

What? Me? Post for an entire month?

Apparently so. You see, even before joining NaBloPoMo I thought to myself, "Whoa! How cool and fun would it be to post for the entire month of October? I could write about all things Fall-ish and Halloweenie. Yeah!"  And then, just to put some additional pressure on me I joined National Blog Posting Month. (See badge on right --> Little lower. Yep, there)

I know I mentioned it last year. But this time I have many ideas and thoughts rolling around in my head. This is where my loving husband would comment about all those thoughts and ideas having plenty of room to roll around. Ha! I beat you to it, Dude!  Anyway, at least I'll try. Don't completely hold me to it. My ambitions are sometimes bigger than my follow-thru. Kinda like when you're eyes are bigger than your stomach because that burger and fries combo looked so good on the menu but in reality the burger is not your typical size and even though you thought you wouldn't eat all of the fries, they were just a little crispy the way you like them and before you know it you've hit the wall. Moral of the story: Decrease the portion size of lofty goals.

I've tried to be a better blogger this month. I just hope I don't crap out in October and get thrown out of the NaBloPoMo blog roll. Can they really do that? Great googily moogily that would be embarrassing.

Anyway, their theme for the month is Fall (not just the season but the act of falling and all that goes with it). I'm not going to follow it all that closely because I'm a rebel and well, like I mentioned above I have some ideas for posts.

I've never written posts for an entire month before. Naturally I would choose one with 31 days as opposed to say - February with only 28. This should be fun. I just hope I remember that when it's day 17 and I'm sitting in a corner eating my hair and rocking back and forth mumbling "I have nothing to write."

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Don't run around in circles after eating cake

I thought I'd share some funny images I came across from the humor section of Pinterest.

I totally agree!

Only at MoMA.

The same happened to me except I wasn't at the Museum of Modern Art. But I was about the same age as this kid. Also, I might have had cake beforehand.

Thank you: Cake, and for the images.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Silly Gerber people

I received this in the mail today. I'm a little confused, and even though that happens easily to me, this one really has me asking, what the what? Does Gerber know something I don't? Because last time I checked my "baby" was 10 years old.

Um, you're about 10 years too late, Gerber.

Monday, September 23, 2013

I'm not ready for Christmas just yet

Yesterday while we were out we stopped in an (un-named) store. They had the obligatory Halloween items out because that holiday is just around the corner. That's fine. Nothing unusual there.

On another display they had some Thanksgiving things out for sale. Just some harvest-y decorations and a few dishes and place settings that said "Give thanks". Okay, so maybe that's pushing things considering that it isn't even October yet and Thanksgiving is still two months away. But whatever. Stores are always pushing holidays and such.

When I turned the corner I saw a display section already offering Christmas things. What the merry hell? I did a Hanna Barbera double-take and then said it's way too early! Fall just officially started. The kids are barely back to school and IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET!!! Stop pushing me!!

So in honor of this holiday hurry I drew another one of my awesome and museum-worthy pictures.

Hey Christmas, wait your turn!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

It never gets old, at least not to me

Sometimes when I need to google something and I'm typing in a hurry I write "goggle" instead of "google". And it makes me giggle. All the dang time.

It never gets old.

There are few things in my life that no matter how many times they happen, or I make them happen, I end up laughing. They're silly and stupid and might make the average person roll their eyes but they give me a chuckle and since I am silly and stupid and not your average person that's really all that matters. Unless you're Bill. Then you just sit there resigned in your silence and patiently wait until your immature wife is finished.

For example, every now and then when we're sitting together I hold my finger close to Bill's arm, or face and I say, "I'm not touching you." This usually elicits the same response from him: He closes his eyes for a minute, lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head. Sometimes I say it again, and laugh. If he's in a good mood he might play along and pretend to chomp on my finger. If we're bickering, because my childishness knows no bounds even during inappropriate moments like an argument,  he'll reply in his oh-so-droll way, "Good for you." 

A couple other things that never get old: When the soda bottle pops out from someone squeezing it while pouring, I always say, "Ow! Someone shot me." And when there's a loud bang or tapping I always say, "Come in." And then I follow up with "That never gets old." Which of course, Bill disagrees with. Although I think he secretly finds my antics funny and is laughing on the inside. Maybe I'm the missing 4th Stooge. Shemp doesn't count because he replaced Curly. I'll have to goggle that.

PS: I mistyped google on purpose just in case you were wondering. And yes, I giggled when I typed it.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

To wear or not to wear: Edition 4

I don't shop at the House of Style and my couture is far from haute but every now and then I have to stop and shake my head at some fashion choices. Join me as I once again ask, To wear or not to wear?

Earlier this week I was in our neighborhood Walgreens when I heard the familiar 'flip flip flip' of shoes. I was surprised to see a young guy come around the corner into my aisle wearing said flip flop shoes. Men, men, men, how many times must I say that unless you are at a pool or on a beach or in your own domicile, do not wear flip flops. No one wants to look at your ugly man feet. At least he wasn't wearing socks with them. Why men do that I'll never know.

Guys in skinny jeans are a bad idea. While I applaud your thin physique in a weight-obsessed world, I think your denim choice is wrong-o! You look like a skinny-assed crack-head. It's an unattractive look. Ladies like a guy in snug Levi's. Think Chris Hemsworth as Thor cooking breakfast for Natalie Portman. Yeah, now do you see? Leave the skinny jeans to us women. We wear it better, especially when paired with a cute pair of boots or some sexy heels.

This summer when we were out bowling with Chris I watched a young woman several lanes away struggle to bowl and still maintain her dignity. Why? Because she was wearing a babydoll dress that revealed a split all its own every time she threw the ball. Despite how many times she pulled on the hem, the blasted thing wouldn't grow any longer. Lesson to be learned: Always ask where you are going ahead of time so you can dress accordingly.

If you'd like to read more of my fashion commentary you can follow these links:

TWoNTW Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Update! Update!

Okay, so I've made a few changes here. Just playing around with a new layout and some different color schemes. It's a work in progress (wip for short). Hopefully I can tack on some ads. Ya know, make it look more purdy.

In the meantime, have a look around. For those of you who are new here: Hi! And welcome to my humble abode on the Interwebz. Stick around, chat. I'll make cookies.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Under-achieving Mom

I have this friend who is kind of like Super-Mom, if Super-Mom lived on a farm out in the Midwest. She's that over-achieving mom, ya know the one who puts other moms, like me, to shame . She has five kids, 4 which she home schools and a 4-month old still on the breast, prepares meals from scratch mostly with ingredients from her own garden. She cans and jars vegetables for later use, has a farm full of chickens (more fresh produce!), roosters and goats, not to mention two cats, a dog and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the opposite side of the spectrum there's me. I'm happy when I can get some laundry done before school is over, understand enough of my kid's homework to help him, then throw some hot dogs on the table for dinner and call it a day.

I don't think so.

Ma Ingalls would look at how I do things and cry. Biscuits from a tube and not home made? Yep. TV during dinner? Uh huh. Bed not made in the morning? Um, sorry. Suzy Homemaker I'm not.

But I am good at leaving little notes in my kid's lunchbox every now and then as a surprise; playing Go Fish with him; having a hot meal prepared each night for my guys (even if it's not made from scratch).  My house may be messy but our lives are filled with love and laughter. Roseanne would be proud.

That about sums it up.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

I think I should clean up my act

The other day I cursed. Out loud. In front of my kid. I know, bad. Very, very bad. My kid called me on it and said, "Mom! Stop swearing!"

(I only felt bad for doing it in front of him and not for actually swearing. Swearing is an alternative to killing people, and keeps me out of jail so it's the lesser of two evils.)

So, feeling remorseful, (not really) I apologized to him.

"I'm sorry Little Man. Mommy wouldn't swear so much if people just stopped acting like assholes."

This made him laugh. "You said 'ass,'" he said. That word always makes him laugh, though I'm not sure why. Maybe because ass-->fart/poop. And of course boys and men love bathroom humor.

Now, before your eyes bug out and you go write me a hate comment please know that I do not make it a habit to swear often in front of my child. Except for the occasional 'damn' or 'shit'. I don't consider 'crap' a bad word. 'Frig(gin)' is borderline. Yeah, okay so I have a potty mouth. But I always apologize if he's around and tell him swearing is a bad thing and not to do it, which makes me feel a bit better as a mom but somewhat hypocritical. Thankfully he doesn't question the logic. Yet.  

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Jerry, you're coming apart

A well-known Jewish comedian came to our area. I was lucky enough to snap a quick picture.

Here he is:

Sign Felled

Thank you, I'll be here all week. All year. All the time, actually.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Crapping out rainbows

I have an uncle who when you ask him how he's doing he replies, "I couldn't be happier if I was twins."  By and large he's a pretty happy-go-lucky guy so his answer isn't far from the truth. Except he's not a twin. Moving along.

Ask me that question and you're bound to get any manner of silly, sarcastic or inappropriate answer. If I replied with the "twins" answer some people (Bill) would answer back, "Thank goodness you're not a twin because one of you is all we can handle." Thanks. I think. Anyway, I got to thinking and came up with a great answer to the "how are you?" question.

I'm so happy I'm crapping out rainbows. I even drew a picture to go along with it. Stop laughing. I drew this on a laptop. With no mouse. Despite that I look like a rainbow-crapping zombie, I think it came out nice. Note the smiley face.

So happy. Give me brains.

Friday, September 6, 2013


It's been a few days since I posted that I was on a search to find my happiness. I'm still looking but in the meantime there have been smiley-times.

I started reading again after a summer hiatus. I forgot that reading and writing go hand-in-hand. If I'm not reading anything, I'm not writing anything either. Or, what I do write is forced crap that I end up deleting. I have some books on my hold list at the library that I'm pretty excited to read as well.

I joined a bloghop 2 weeks ago and so far have met some seriously cool fellow bloggers. I also have a few new followers which makes me smile.

I've been pinning a lot lately. Oddly enough it relaxes me to pin fun party things, inspiring quotes and yummy foods. Yes it's a time-waster but it makes me happy.

My favorite time of day is Christopher's bedtime because he curls up next to me and I read to him. Even if the whole day was an unproductive mess or I'm feeling bummed, this is the one thing that makes my whole being smile.

Feel free to share your happy moments.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Finding my happy

I am not happy. That doesn't mean I spend my days as a miserable wretch living life with a sourpuss. No. There are days of levity, smiles and awesomeness. Hell, there are days of downright hilarity. Much of it is evidenced here on this blog. However, I'm not happy. I know you're saying to yourself, "Happy? Who is?" And I understand. I get it. No one is completely 100% happy.

Let me backtrack and try to explain exactly what I mean. I feel like I misplaced my happy. I allowed my happiness to be determined by other people, places, and things. I pretty much expected it that way. And in waiting-hoping-expecting people, or places, or things to make me happy, I lost it.

This isn't to say that people can't make you happy. My son does that easily just by being his adorable and silly self. Places and things can also make you happy. But, you shouldn't rely on or expect them to make you happy. I lost myself and my happy by doing just that. And now I'm trying to get it back.

This is my journey to find my happiness. I know it won't happen overnight. But each day I will look for some bit of happiness. And I will make a conscious effort to release people, places, and things of my expectations to be happy. I don't plan on posting an update everyday but I will chronicle my progress here and there. If you already have happiness in your life, then 'Yay!' for you; hold on to it tightly and don't let go. If you need to find your happy, feel free to join me on the journey.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

About me

For school last week, Little Man's teacher had them do an assignment in which they create a "brochure" titled, About Me. It's a classroom ice-breaker that helps the classmates learn a little something about one another.

So, I figured I'd post something of the same here. Just in case you'd like to know more about me. If not, run far and fast away. Or, just stay where you are and disregard this post.

5 of my favorite things:

My favorite color: Pink, although I sometimes gravitate towards blues and greens for some inexplicable reason.

My favorite food: Pizza! Especially if it's from back East, otherwise it's some not-so-close Vegas replica.

My favorite (non-alcoholic) beverage: Pepsi. Sprite is a close second if the eatery only serves Coke.

My favorite Vegas hotel: The Palazzo. It's gorgeous.

My favorite author: Anne Rice. Enough said.

What you might be surprised to know:

I once learned how to speak conversational Klingon. What? So I'm a SciFi geek. Sadly, I had no one else to converse with so I forgot most of what I learned except for a few phrases I retained from Star Trek movies or episodes. Oh, and "Qapla'" which of course translates into "Success".

 I don't own a lot of clothes or shoes. I know this calls into question my whole female being, it's just that I don't like shopping all that much, at least not for myself. And now, all of womandom is a little less brighter because of this admission. Anyway, I can shop and buy for anyone else. And by the way, why is it when I'm on a mission to buy for someone else I can usually find things I like but when I'm there specifically for me I come up empty-handed? The Shopping Gods mock me!

Anything else is not a surprise because I've probably already mentioned it here somewhere. Or at least I will at some point in the future. Feel free to add your own 5 things or what I don't know about you.