Saturday, July 27, 2013

Dude, seriously...where's my car?

I have this habit of parking my car in  a lot and then forgetting where it is when it's time to leave.

I've been known to wander around an arena lot after a concert. I've gotten off the elevator onto the wrong deck. More often than not I walk down the wrong aisle. Thought for sure I was parked over here on the left. Oh nope, there it is. And I walk over three aisles to where my car sits waiting for me.

A few months ago I had to buy something at a department store and when I exited after paying I thought someone had stolen my car. There were only 4 cars in the lot and mine wasn't one of them. Instant panic filled me. And then I looked around and realized I walked out of a different exit than the one I entered. So I walked around the building to the lot I was actually parked in. And there was my car. Whew!

For this reason, when I park somewhere I always have to look for signs or aisle numbers so I remember where my car is. Aisle 3. Oh ok, got it.

Sometimes I hit the panic button on my key chain but that's only if I've wandered around aimlessly for more than 15 minutes. I worry that one day lot security will call the police about some suspicious female wandering the parking lot.

Honestly Officer, I was not looking for a car to boost. I just couldn't find my own vehicle. At least that story would trump the time I locked my keys in the car. With the car running.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I'm guessing she'd be bad at playing Pictionary

A report on some road construction and how it affects the daily commute goes horribly wrong for this poor newscaster.

In order to avoid the traffic caused by the construction, take Dick Street as an alternate route.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Good show, England

Yay! The royal baby is here!  What does this mean? Well, nothing to me, really. But I've always thought Kate and Will were pretty cool. We have no such nobility here. A few noteworthy celebrities but nothing to brag about.

I do hope they give the little Prince Dude a nice name. Then again, anything ought to be better than being named after a direction like those 2 pinheads here in America did. Hey, if Kimye's daughter traveled to NY from California on Southwest Airlines that would mean that North West was traveling East on Southwest. Oy.

I hear that some places are taking bets on what the name will be. Hmm, living in Vegas, I might have to check into that. My personal pick is that he'll be named after William's grandfather, Philip. Or maybe William, Jr. Although I don't think they do the junior/senior thing across the pond. He'd be more of a William the second, or William II.

I saw the pic they released of the happy couple with baby as they were leaving the hospital. And might I say that Kate looks ridiculously awesome for just having given birth. She's all glowing and smiling like she's just come from a day at the spa. When I left the hospital after having my son I looked like an extra from some horror movie, all bleary eyed from little sleep, pale-faced and hair in a ponytail.

Anyway, congrats to the happy couple. Good show, England. Bloody good show.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Is it wrong that I hugged the Hostess display?

I'm not a big fan of grocery shopping. But today was different. While picking out snack cakes (For the household because I try to eat healthy. Really, I do. ) I saw this:


A whole display of Hostess cupcakes. So naturally I did what any other self-respecting Hostess fan with a sweet-tooth would do...I walked up to the display and hugged it. I didn't care that the woman buying orange juice gave me a weird look. I'm used to such things. Besides I had to pay proper respect and worship to this icon of sugary goodness.

Welcome back, Hostess. You've been missed.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Cicadas do not cure insomnia, also I might have WWWADD

I was researching insomnia on the Internet the other day, which is never a good idea because the next thing you know you're self diagnosed with some horrible disease that can only be cured by some Far East witch doctor living in the middle of Bushwick-nowhere.

I've been having trouble falling asleep for a very long time now and in the interest of trying to establish good, responsible, adult-like sleep patterns I thought I should find out why 2 am greets me every damn night and how best to stop it.

I came across an article about circadian rhythms and thought am I having trouble sleeping because I can't hear that insect's summertime song? Come to think of it, I don't hear them as much since we moved to Vegas. It being a desert and all there's really only palm and Joshua trees. Maybe I can purchase one of those sleep-sounds machines and listen to the cicadas chirp or sing or whatever they do, all night and that will induce some serious sleepy time.

And then I opened the link and started reading about physical and behavioral changes that follow a 24-hour cycle and our response to light and dark and I was like, this has nothing to do with cicadas. Which makes sense because I have sleep issues in the winter too and cicadas are not known to make their music in cold weather.

In the end I learned:

Cicadas are insects that make their own rhythms, and circadian rhythms have to do with human biology. I much prefer my initial thinking on the matter.

The Internet is itself a huge time-suck because I spent a considerable amount of time listening to cicadas on YouTube. Either that or I have World Wide Web Attention Deficit Disorder, which I've termed WWWADD. So in some way I might have diagnosed myself with one ailment, however I still suffer from a form of insomnia.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Oddly enough I can totally relate to these

I often amuse myself. No one else, just myself.

Squidward gets it.
I may be soulless but at least I have my sense of humor, dammit!

Friday, July 12, 2013

5 things I love about Summer

Summer's here and the living is easy. I do love this time of year and for many reasons. So I decided to write down the top 5 things I love about Summer:

5. The deliciousness of it all.
Fruits, ice cream, and cold glasses of iced tea. It's all yummy goodness especially in the heat. And it's good for you! Bet you never thought I'd talk about healthy eating here. (Maybe the heat's getting to me.)

4. Longer days.
I remember being a kid and getting to play from morning till late evenings. I still love that it gets dark much later. I may not run around chasing fireflies or playing tag at night like I used to but I do enjoy sitting out on the patio, just chillin'.

3. Water fun.
Swimming pools and water parks. There's nothing better than sitting in a pool with blue skies above and the mountains all around. 

2. Easy does it.
People always seem to go at a slower and easier pace in the summertime. Maybe it's because of the heat but I like that there's no hurrying. (Unless I'm in the car and need to get somewhere and the car in front of me is going at a snail's pace. Then I become a road lunatic.)

1. Hot! Hot! Hot!
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a fan of cold weather. That being said I do love living in Vegas where the weather is noticeably and preferably(to me) warmer. We do get our cold winter spells but they usually last only two months or so. Summer's here are hot and I looooove it!

Vegas summers usually last from late April to mid-October (which the natives call Groundhog Summer). I don't mind this at all.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

He speaks sarcasm so that's why we get along

The other day I got up earlier than Billy. It does happen! It might be a rarity but it happens. Anyway, I tried to quietly open drawers to get my clothes but I can't help it if the hinges squeak and the metal handles clack when I let them go. I  crept over to grab my cellphone (which fell), sunglasses (hidden under piles of stuff) and keys (which are ALWAYS noisy).

I turned and saw him doing the one-eyed peek from half under his pillow. So I smiled and said, "Oh hi, you're awake."

And he looked at me with that, no kidding Mrs. McNoisypants, look.

To which I replied, "I tried to be quiet while getting ready."

And he zinged me with "Yeah, that's not really working for you."

It was such a sarcastic comment, spoken with such affection. I couldn't help but laugh and be proud.