Have you ever sat down at your computer knowing you had emails to check, posts to write, and stuff to look up and your mind goes blank and you think, I have no idea what I'm doing? That just happened. But that's not what this post is about.
Yesterday I was out shopping for clothes as a birthday gift for my mom so naturally I found stuff for me. And since I can never find anything when I specifically look for myself I ran with it. I picked some items and headed to the fitting room.
Tee shirt. No problem, even a little tres chic.
Sleep shirt and shorts. Soft, nice. Hey the husband can get me this for my birthday. He'll be happy 'bout that! I'm multi-tasking even as I shop!
Jeans. First pair are comfy, and a little loose. I must have lost weight! Bit long-ish but I can cuff them up and during the Winter they'll be perfect with boots.
Second pair of jeans. I slip my legs in and "Houston, we have a problem." This feels less like I'm trying on jeans and more like I'm shoving sausage meat into a casing.
Third pair of jeans. What twisted psychopath designed these? I mean, tight jeans are one thing but this is an affront to non-zero size women everywhere.
When I exit the fitting room, the attendant looks at me with a big smile that says, "So, how'd we do?" I tell her I'm not taking these and I plop down the offending jeans. Then I add, "These aren't jeans, they're strangulation devices." To which she laughed and agreed with me.