Summer funnies to keep you cool or at least mildly entertained

This looks sadly accurate.

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I freely admit to being witchy at times when it gets to being oppressively hot. However, I don't act surprised at the heat. (see last cartoon).

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If only. My guys require solids at all mealtimes. I, on the other hand, can happily have a fudgsicle for breakfast.

And yet so many are shocked when the temps shoot into the triple digits.

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Conquering fear

Fears can be like mountains. When we are facing them they seem so large, over-powering, and impossible to conquer. But after we push through and overcome them we find that what we really did was conquer ourselves.

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Happy Friday, all!

Hump Day Confessional

Holy hump day, Batman! It's time for confession!

We were at the library Sunday (where a lot of my funnerific* stories occur).  As we were just about to exit into the main hall, the woman in front of us sounded the alarm and walked past the sign. So I said, "You beeped." No reply. Then I said again, "You beeped." To which she turned around and replied, "I know. I cleared it with them." How sheepish did I feel? Baaaaaa. This is what I get for trying to be a helpful library patron and not minding my own biz.

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*My made up word. A cross between funny and horrific.


We went to the movies this past weekend. The guys saw the new X Men and I saw Maleficent.  Can I just say, I loved it! I knew it would be a good movie when I first heard about it and saw the previews. I won't say any more so I don't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet. So let's talk about the theater. It was an older AMC and boy did it show its age. First of all, can you say small? I didn't know I was watching the movie in my closet. And the seats. I sat down and was basically on the floor. Still, I enjoyed the movie while snacking on my Twizzlers, which cost the same as a small car payment.

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I guess you know it's summer by the lack of clothing being worn. I don't mean tank tops in place of sweaters and shorts replacing long pants. Nooooo. I'm talking about mesh tops with bras in full on display. No tanks in between for modesty. Why create more dirty laundry? Then there's ladies being cheeky with their shorts. Not only are the pockets peeking out front but ass cheeks hang out from behind, too. I must be getting crotchety in my old age but is this necessary?

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That's all, Folks!

Summertime

Even though it's been hot here in Vegas for the past month I thought I would post this in honor of this past weekend's official arrival of the season:

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So, here's to...

Flip flops, sandals or bare feet. Cold drinks, popsicles, and fresh fruit. Blue skies all day long and starry nights. Swimming and barbecuing. Fireworks on the 4th of July. Sand between your toes (and hopefully nowhere inconvenient). Shorts and sundresses. Bike rides, fishing and picnics. A little bit of sweat and a whole lotta cool because as Ella Fitzgerald sang, It's summertime and the livin' is easy.

Fearless pursuit

Sometimes you need to be fearless in your pursuits. They just might be worth it.

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Hump Day Confessional

It's Hump Day so hump along with me. You know you want to.

I guess my first confession should be that I got a new job. Details to come since I'm just officially starting today.  I admit that I hate this part of it, the beginning. I've got first day jitters and all. I wish I could fast-forward six months so I would be settled into the job but then I'd miss the summer and it would be Christmas and I'm not about to rush things when Christmas already seems to start the day after Halloween these days.

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It's been windy as all hell here in Sin City lately. I mean hang-on-to-your-wigs windy. I am so over it. Seriously, I moved here for the warm weather, I didn't sign up for this. If I wanted to live in a windy clime I'd have located us to Chicago.

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This blog needs to start earning its keep. I sent some pitch letters and have been interacting with other blogs  and I've been thinking that maybe I should offer baked goods as a way to lure potential sponsors/advertisers for my blog. Hey, I'm not above a little bribery if that's what it takes. Brownie, anyone?

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That's all I got for ya. I'm gonna sit here and eat some cookies while I read others' confessions.

A new, improved library alarm sign

Last year I wrote a post about my library and their alarm sign. Well, I guess the sign was a bit too inconspicuous because one day recently we walked in and saw a newer, larger sign in its place.

Before

Too plain?

After

Sign? What sign?

The new sign is bigger but no less polite than the original. Also, notice the pretty border around the white?  And the stand itself is sturdier. What are the odds that some people will still walk by this while the alarm sounds?

Starve your fears

I read something once that said, Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. You can't argue that.

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Have a great Friday, all! (Despite the day - Friday the 13th. That is if you believe in that stuff.)

My very first Vox Box

I received my very first Vox Box from Influenster! Yay, free stuff!

The TLC Vox Box is for the Moms of Influenster Nation. In it I found all kinds of cool things like:

Neosporin Neo To Go
This is great for active kids and Moms on the go. Just in time for Summer and the days Chris and I will be spending at the park.

Ivory Bar Soap
I've always been a fan of Ivory Soap. It smells good. It lathers nicely. Best of all, it helps keep my skin soft.

AVON Anew Reversalist Express Wrinkle Smoother
Are they trying to tell me something? Well, anyway, I'm giving this a try and if one day soon I look in the mirror and see myself with younger looking skin, then I'll know it worked. And if I end up looking like I did at 25 then I'll know it's a miracle worker!

Puffs To Go
This sure beats carrying around loose tissues that clump at the bottom of my purse. Plus, these contain lotion for sensitive schnozes.

Shell Fuel Rewards Network Card
Any chance to save money at the gas pump is fine by me.

The coupon is to try the new Breyers Gelato Indulgences ice cream. Ice cream?? Yes, please! Once I try this I'll post my review. In the meantime I'll scream for ice cream one more time. Ice Cream! Okay, I'm done.

Disclosure: These products were received complimentary of Influenster for testing purposes. All opinions are my own.

Hump day confessional

Submitted for your Hump Day approval, these are the confessions of The Fearless Scribe.


Ok, so it's only June 11th and we've already been in the triple digits for the past 2 weeks. It's going to be a long, hot Summer and I confess that I've already got some tan happenin'.

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Recently when we were out, Chris and I watched a woman walk by unsteadily while wearing impossibly high heels. The sidewalk was paved unevenly with large mosaic type pavers with dimples so you can imagine she had to concentrate with each teetering step. Chris leaned over to me and whispered, "Wouldn't it be funny if she fell?" (He is so my kid!) I confess that I leaned back over to him and replied, "Yes. But after I stopped laughing I'd help her back up." I'm not a big meanie but seriously, if you're going to wear stilted shoes that make you look like a toddler just learning to walk, then expect some ha-has if you stumble.

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I'd like to thank the ABC Family network for airing two of my most favorite 80's movies this past weekend: Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. I confess that I watched them both two three times between Friday and Sunday. I'm not ashamed to admit that I could quote these movies by heart.

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Ok, your turn to make with the confessions.

Don't call us. No really, don't

My dad had an uncle who firmly believed that dinner time was for eating and spending time with family. He felt that the hours between 4 and 6 was the Universal time for dinner and he didn't tolerate outside interferences, especially phone calls.

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Pity the poor, unsuspecting telemarketer who called during that time. It didn't matter that they were trying to save him money with cheaper auto insurance; they got an earful. And I don't mean a stern talking-to.

No, Dad's uncle kept a whistle by the phone. If someone called while he was enjoying his pot roast and mashed potatoes he picked up that whistle and answered with a loud, shrill TWEEEEEEEEEET! Then, he hung up and went back to his meal.

This was before caller-id and cordless phones. So unless your table sat right next to the phone which was usually housed on the wall, you had to get up and answer it.

Just sittin' down to my freshly made plate of spaghetti, home-made meatballs and sauce and a nice loaf of garlic bread and RIIIINNNG! Are you kiddin' me? I'd probably blow the whistle too.

Now, I know what you're thinking: What about an emergency? To be honest, I have no idea because he lived out of state so we didn't associate much. Maybe emergencies had to work around that schedule or else you prayed the wife answered instead.


These days it's a still a running joke in the family. Especially when a call comes from some solicitor looking for a donation to his Dumbschmuck Foundation. But back then, everyone in the family knew better than to call between those hours. 

Sounds rude, right?

Not as rude as eating a meal with someone who has their face in their smartphone/ipad/whatever electronic device. I think Dad's uncle would have a fit with today's social media conscious world. Especially at the dinner table.

Neat and tidy t-shirt drawer thanks to Pinterest

Saw a pin on Pinterest. Tried it and whoa! It worked. 

My t-shirt drawer before this makeover was a nightmare. There was clothes spilling out and my shirts looked ill-folded and wrinkly. It seemed like the one shirt I wanted was always on the bottom of the pile and when I pulled it out others would inevitably come with it as if they had sewn together over night. No, emerald green shirt, I wanted my Invader Zim t-shirt, not you! 

And then one day I saw this marvelous, magical pin that showed t-shirts all folded in an orderly fashion and easy to pull out. That's when I  knew the Neatnik Gods had meant for me to see this so I could transform my own over-flowing t-shirt drawer.

Behold the new and improved look:

I own a crap ton of tees.

Tank tops are in the middle flanked by tees on both sides like soldiers guarding their smaller, less material little brothers and sisters.

Ah, so much organization!


I showed this to my mom and she declared, "There is hope for you, yet!" She's so dramatic.

Fearless like a ninja

Instead of a serious post this Friday, I thought I'd feature a little fearless fun.

From one of my son's t-shirts:

These are all somewhat do-able but number 2 is impossible. I can't use chopsticks to save my life. If they were the only utensil allowed, ever, I would starve. Or, at the very least I would end up slurping my food off the plate like a dog.

Happy Friday all!

Hump day confessional

If it's Wednesday, this must be Hump Day Confessions. Okay, let's do this!



Lately I've been so on top of this blogging thing. I confess I have pre-written posts ready to go and drafts I started and even ideas for future posts. It's scary how organized I am right now.

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Today is my son's Elementary School graduation. I'm pretty sure I'm going to look and feel like this:

Me and Lorelei; proud, emotional, and excited Mamas. Now let's celebrate with cake!


I further confess that while looking for the specific Gilmore Girls pic above I sifted through several sites and gifs and read quotes that made me laugh (again) and re-lived scenes via video links and basically emerged two hours later feeling a bit bleary eyed and possibly drooling.

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That's it for this week.
Number 278! Now serving number 278! You're next for hump day confessions. Please deposit your ticket in the basket on the counter.

I answer my own Liebster nomination questions

Remember how I mentioned being nominated for a Liebster Award? Well, I thought to myself, Self, why not answer the same questions I asked the bloggers I nominated for the award. Meh, I thought it would be cool.

1- How did you come by your blog's name?

Oy. The Fearless Scribe came after weeks of endless thought and doodling and word play. Ok, not really. It was a few days of me throwing some ideas around.  I wanted a variation of the word 'writer' so hey, Scribe. The Fearless is because I think all people who create whether it be writing or drawing or painting are fearless. We put our work out there to be read or ignored. Appreciated or hated. We might say that we write for ourselves but deep down I think we all want our work to be noticed.

2- If money were no object and you could leave tomorrow, where would you go?

Europe, specifically Germany, France, and Italy.

3- What is the best meal you've ever eaten?

Our wedding dinner at The Plank restaurant in the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino right here in Las Vegas. The seafood, the prime rib- so good! Sadly, the restaurant is no more but all these years later, our friends still talk about it.

4- Name 1 TV show you are currently addicted to that you would growl and bare teeth if someone interrupted you while you were watching?

Justified, without a doubt. And also, Sleepy Hollow.

5- What is your dream car and what do you drive in reality?

I want to own a yellow camaro so I can call it Bumblebee. What?  He's my favorite Transformer autobot. In reality I drive a Mom-car.

6- One thing you can't possibly live without?

My family because they make me laugh and smile. Despite the occasional head-shaking moments.

7- Coffee or tea?

Tea. Little milk and two sugars.

8- I write because I have lots of words and ideas floating around in my head. That and all the running commentary needs a place to come out or else my brain would implode and my head would cave in.

9- What is your go-to song when you need cheering up?

Hoku's Perfect Day or Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten.

10-  What is your favorite season?

Back in NJ it was Summer hands-down. But living out here in the desert, Summer lasts 9 months out of the year so I actually miss the other seasons. My fave season is now a default. This question sucks!

11-   Will you bake me cookies and overnight them? Pretty please?

 Oh alright, since you asked so nicely.