A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head.
"What's the deal?" the bartender asks.
The duck says, "It's opposite day."
A guy goes to the psychiatrist wearing shorts made of clear plastic wrap.
The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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Some funny bumper stickers:
When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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And lastly, some words of wisdom from my fave comedian, George Carlin:
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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