Friday, May 22, 2015

Friday Funnies

Here are a few jokes I came across while cruising the Interwebz:

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head.
"What's the deal?" the bartender asks.
The duck says, "It's opposite day."

A guy goes to the psychiatrist wearing shorts made of clear plastic wrap.
The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."


Some funny bumper stickers:

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.


And lastly, some words of wisdom from my fave comedian, George Carlin:

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

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