Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The cheap tape vs. me

The task was an easy one. Put these files in those boxes and build more boxes if needed. Simple, right? Yeah...I thought so, too.

Now, I know that sometimes doing certain jobs can confound me but this is not one of them. I've put together many boxes throughout the years both for filing away archives at jobs and for moving. Those quick set up storage boxes from Staples I can practically make in my sleep. And regular moving boxes are a snap with a tape dispenser.

I filled the first few cartons and figured I would need at least one more so after going through the pile I found one that would serve my purpose. I grabbed it and headed to the supply closet. After coming up empty on my search for a tape gun I found the rolls of masking tape in the back. I prefer the clear packing tape but I thought, Okay, I can make this work. 

When I went to pull the tape to get started I noticed that it was all ragged. Someone didn't break it off evenly, or, they were in a big hurry. So I broke off the little pieces and pulled an even strip. Then I built my box, held the lid in place and started pulling the tape from one end to the other. And I watched as the piece got thinner until it was just this narrow, jagged size.

Oh for crying out loud, I thought. I broke the piece off and began to fiddle with the tape again to get a whole sheet going. This time I started applying tape on the opposite end. And the tape grew smaller and smaller again as I pulled.

Big sigh. Ridiculous, I said to myself. This went on several more times. In the end my box looked like something taped together by a three-year old. Oh, and it turns out I didn't need that stupid box after all because all the files fit nicely in the existing boxes.

This happened last week at work. Today I had another encounter with that evil roll of tape, which I have dubbed Cheap Tape. Which made me think of the band Cheap Trick and so I made up my own lyrics to 2 of their songs.

Dream Police (Renamed Cheap Tape)

The cheap tape it lives inside the closet
The cheap tape is one that I wouldn't get
The cheap tape is going to frustrate me, oh no

I Want You To Want Me  (Renamed I Want You To Tape Me)

I want you to tape me
I need you to tape me
I'd love you to tape me
I'm begging you to tape me

When I was done I made sure the tape end was broken off evenly. Then I put the evil roll back in the closet while casting shifty eyes at it. Until next time, cheap tape.

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