Friday, June 1, 2012

Evolution of the mom cold

I'm getting over bronchitis and laryngitis. I know, double ick! 

Here's what happened: Just before Memorial Day weekend, Little Man had the sniffles and a sore throat. He took some kid's meds and continued running around, playing video games and was feeling fine.

But, he shared.

That Sunday we were out most of the day and I was feeling a little meh but chalked it up to weather change (it was unseasonably cool for a few days) and allergies (lots of wind). I went to bed that night at such a ridiculously early time (9:30!!) with a headache, scratchy throat and sniffles.

Monday morning I was illin'. My throat was so sore it was like I swallowed razor blades in my sleep. I stayed in bed all day taking over-the-counter stuff and got up around dinner time to have some tea and a banana. On the bright side, I thought, cool I could stand to lose a few pounds!

On Tuesday I started to feel slightly better but I sounded horrible. Probably like a stopped up drain would sound if it could talk. I didn't go in to volunteer at JDRF and Bill said, "Good, they don't need your germs over there." Gee thanks, hon.

Wednesday I was feeling better but I sounded worse. My voice would only let me croak out every other word and I was coughing so much I'm sure the neighbors must have thought we were training circus seals. I called JDRF to tell them that I wouldn't be coming in, again, and I'm sure when Colleen, the director, answered the phone, she must have thought, "Who is this man calling me at 8 in the morning?" until I identified myself.  Yeah, that bad.  I sounded like Demi Moore & Suzanne Pleshette's lovechild.

By Thursday I was much better in spite of coughing fits and still sounding like I drank too much whiskey and smoked too many cigarettes.

My question is this: How is it that my child gets this little hint of unwell and I get zonked? It's like my body becomes a playground for these cold germs and they don't want to leave.

I would also like to point out that being sick in real life is nothing like it appears on TV. The TV moms have these dainty little colds; they do a cute sniffle and gently dab their noses. Their coughs sound like a small throat clearing and they still look ready to walk down the runway sporting next year's finest fashions. Meanwhile, when I'm all sick I look like some medical experiment gone terribly wrong with watery eyes, crust under my nose, coughing up all forms of ick; my hair looks like I combed it in the dark with a fork and all I want on me is my comfortable clothes which are probably wrinkled with holes and stains from the last time I cleaned the house.

It just ain't fair!!

On the up side Little Man checks on me often out of concern when I'm sick in bed. On the flip side he keeps me at  a distance so I "don't give him any of my germs." Hunh!!


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