I would make a half-assed bat

And here's why: I don't see well in the dark. This would make the idiom "blind as a bat" true for me if only that phrase were true. I found the following on Animal.Discovery.com:

Are Bats Really Blind?
This saying has become a fixture of everyday vernacular and the assumption likely developed because bats primarily use a form of sonar to navigate through dark areas and avoid obstacles. However, their eyes, while small and sometimes poorly developed, are also completely functional, not to mention the fact that they have excellent hearing and sense of smell. 

Anyway, I could probably get by relying on my other senses, except my sense of smell would be compromised because my nose frequently battles allergies to breathe. And I lack the ability to use sonar for navigation although I have my trusty cell phone as a night light to get around.

I have most some of the necessary bat requirements pretty much covered. My wardrobe includes a lot of    dark clothing. Not in the goth sense more in the black-goes-with-everything sense. And I'm nocturnal in that I'm always up late at night. Probably because I have a bit of insomnia.


I also have good hearing and prefer to watch TV with the volume at a low level. Often when Bill sits down while I'm watching something he'll say, "Oh the bat is in the room again."  He likes the volume loud enough to broadcast to the neighborhood. It's a battle between us.

The only other problem I would have in being a bat is that I don't fly. Unless someone built me a wingman suit. And the whole sleeping upside down thing.  Not giving up my sleep number bed to hang from the ceiling of some dank cave. I draw the line there.

This whole post brought to you by the letter O, for Odd stuff that I think about when I can't sleep.