Some New Year's funnies for ya.

Since much of New Year's focuses on making resolutions to better yourself in the new year I figured I would post a few funnies that make light of this.
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Instead of big, lifestyle changing resolutions maybe I'll make smaller, more manageable ones like, how short to cut my hair.

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This sums it up pretty well...

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This made me laugh harder than it should have.

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Yep....

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Seasonal inspiration from TV commercials

I'm a big sap these days with all the sentimental holiday ads on TV.  Sure certain Christmas movies get me all choked up. For example, "The Family Man" is one. The scene at the end where Nicholas Cage's character confronts Tea Leoni's character in the airport, and before he can finish saying "We have a house in Jersey" I'm grabbing a tissue and dabbing my eyes. Yeah, I know.

Maybe you've seen that Apple commercial called, "Misunderstood"? It's where the young teen is shown being all introverted with his cell phone while his entire family is having all sorts of holiday fun. Then, the twist at the end. He was only quietly filming everything to make a memorable video which he shares with everyone on Christmas morning. The family gets emotional. Grandma wipes away a tear. Mom gets all weepy. And...I need a kleenex.

Then, there's the Kohl's commercial, "Christmas Surprise". A couple enters an apartment and decorates it complete with tree, stockings hung by the fireplace, and other little holiday touches. Then you see an elderly woman enter the apartment building and the couple runs across the hall to their own apartment where they quietly peek from behind their door as the woman opens her door and sees her place all decked out for Christmas. Sniff, sniff.

The holidays can be a stressful time with all the rushing, shopping, and wrapping that even the sweetest of Bob Cratchits can become a seasonal Grinch. So, thanks to both of these companies for reminding us that family and kindness are what's important, especially at this time of year. 

A post of Christmas Past

I know this is cheating, but, I'm re-running a post from two years ago. Because, I have nothing new to say (which I admit is sad) and because it's a favorite of mine. Also, it's a running gag in my family again, this year. So we're either doing a lot of deja vu-ing or we're just plain boring. I go with the latter. Anyway, enjoy!

Here's to not getting the shaft this Christmas

There are a few presents under my tree. I had to wrap them and place them there because of Cousin Eddie. I'll explain. One of my family's favorite Christmas movies is "Christmas Vacation." If you haven't seen it then this post will make no sense to you. If you have seen the movie, carry on.

Well, Little Man bought a few token gifts for family at his school's Holiday Boutique. A few days later he put them in their little gift bags and placed them under the tree. Then everyday he would check to see if any more presents were there. My dad (in jest) referenced the Chevy Chase holiday movie and said "Maybe we're all getting the shaft this Christmas." Little Man asked him what that meant and my dad explained.

Excerpt from the movie:
Clark: "And if you believe in him, and you believe in your mom, and you believe in your... your dad, and if you've been good all year round, Santa Clause is going to bring you something."
Ruby Sue: "Sometimes I think all that Santa crap's just bull. If he was so real, how come we didn't get squat last year? We didn't do nothing wrong, and we still got the shaft."


Little Man seemed a bit concerned and said "I was very good this year. I hope I don't get the shaft." Then my mom told me my dad felt bad and that I should hurry up and put some things under the tree to reassure Little Man that he was getting presents for Christmas.

Thanks, dad.

And thanks, Cousin Eddie, for not getting a job (in 7 years!) and buying your kids Christmas presents so that they wouldn't get the shaft, thereby making it possible for my dad to tell my kid about your Christmas fail and making me wrap presents and put them under my tree earlier than usual.

Let's talk underwear

Last night I watched the Victoria's Secret annual Fashion Show. And in between looking at all the pretty lingerie and hoping no one fell on the runway I declared that I would not be eating again. Ever. And then I proceeded to go have some cheetos. Because well, cheetos!


Tonight while surfing channels as I kill time until the Duck Dynasty Christmas Special I came upon a K Mart commercial for  Joe Boxer (link). I heard about this commercial being called a bit controversial. A bunch of guys in boxers shaking their hips to We Wish You A Merry Christmas like one would ring jingle bells. Am I the only one who thought this commercial was cute? It didn't offend me at all. I wonder what that means?

These things make mine the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny effin Kaye

There are certain traditions that I uphold every year for Christmas. much to the amusement (or misery depending on how you look at it) to my husband. These simple little repeated customs make me happy. And that's a good thing. So, in the spirit of the season, I'm going to share a few of the things I look forward to every Christmas without fail.

It doesn't matter how old I get, watching A Charlie Brown Christmas is a must. And Chris watches it with me which makes it even better. By that same token I watch Christmas Vacation every year as well. At least several times during the season. I know it by heart but that doesn't matter because it never gets old. Is it wrong that my kid loves this movie as much as I do?

Hearing the Waitresses sing Christmas Wrapping is a must. Sure some people love traditional songs like White Christmas or Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire and I enjoy them, too, but this song is just fun. And maybe I love it because it's non-traditional to others. Here, give it a listen.

Ever since moving out here we started the tradition of going to the Bellagio hotel & casino to see their conservatory all decorated in a Christmas theme with tons of flowers. They change the look for each holiday/season but the Christmas one is truly beautiful. It's a monster tourist trap but I endure the mobs of people (thank you for paying our taxes!) because I love it. For the first two years here we had Chris pose among some of the displays and used the pic for our annual Christmas card.

A few days before Christmas we drive around and look at the lights and decorations on people's houses. We play music and drive aimlessly throughout the neighborhood, which admittedly looks very stalkerish or at the very least like we're casing out the joint for future burglary but so far no one has called Metro to report us so we'll continue with it this year.

All these things mean Christmas to me. Without them the holiday would be like poorly lit Christmas lights. Clark, the little lights aren't twinkling.

Hurray for cold weather or, why those in colder climes will hate me

It's 40-something degrees out and this morning there were snow flurries. In the desert!! I know, pretty wild.

Now, I'm a big fan of summer and I love the hot weather, which makes sense considering I live in the middle of a desert that averages warm temps 9 months out of the year. However, this cold front makes me happy.

Why? Because I'm one of those weird believers that you need cold winter weather for it to feel Christmassy. Having grown up in northern New Jersey for most of my life where cold and Christmas go hand-in-hand like, well, like a hand in a glove, this is nice.

I think I'm the only one who feels this way in the Vegas Valley. I was smiling in my heavy jacket and boots as I walked from my car to the store this afternoon. It was cool and it was windy and I didn't care.

My mom, who was wearing a sweater and turning up the heat in her house as she sipped hot tea said, "It's going to be cold like this for the next few days." My reply was, "I know! Isn't it great?" To which she gave me that familiar you can't be my child look as she shook her head.

I know it won't last and soon it'll warm up to at least the 50s. And I'm sure all those living way up North or in the snowy Mid-west who are freezing their rump roasts off and have already had to dig themselves out of a snowy mess may want to lynch me but still. Call me old-fashioned (or an idiot) but I'd rather see Santa in his warm, red suit flying his sleigh than in his shorts and flip flops delivering toys in his dune buggy.

I'm still here

Gentle Readers/Fellow Bloggers/Whoever is still reading this:


I'm still here. Sorry for not posting in a more consistent manner. I wish I could say I've been off doing fabulous things and then post pictures documenting that fabulosity. But I haven't. There's been plenty of topics and whatnot to post. I just was not in the right frame of mind to be here.

The truth is that back in early October I went off my anxiety meds. Lack of health insurance kind of dictated that choice. It's been a roller-coaster ride from hell since. Picture the boat ride in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Believe me, Veruca Salt, you DO NOT want a boat like that! I'll spare you the details. But I will say that it makes for an effective campaign against doing hardcore drugs. Not that I ever planned to or even thought about it. I mean I can't even afford legal drugs so let's be real here.


Today is a good day. And I felt like writing. And sharing. So, here I am. I'll try to post a lot more. It's the least I can do for those of you who show up. I might do a recap about some of what I've been wanting to write about. Should be cool. Maybe I'll throw in a bunch of Christmas type posts, too.

Later dudes. Let 'er rip. Hang ten.                  (name that movie)

Thanksgiving Eve

Thanksgiving eve.

They say that the night before Thanksgiving is one of the biggest party nights of the year. Though I'm not quite sure who "they" are and who it is that put "them"  in charge of such a claim.

Years ago when I was single and then when Bill and I were dating I would go out to clubs or bars and have fun, kinda like ushering in the day of thanks. These days I'm more reserved. A certified home body. And I like it that way.

Tonight I'm sitting home comfortably watching Gone With the Wind on a continuous loop on AMC.  As a buffer during the sad scenes I switch over to other channels and watch what's playing for a bit.

It may not be a rip-roaring good time but it's good enough for me. My husband and son are playing video games in another room. I have all I need to make me happy. I am thankful.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful, comfortable, blessed Thanksgiving.

TA-DA!

Welcome to my new blogging home. The name is different, the writing is the same. I slapped on some new paint and re-worked the landscaping but it's finally done. Still working out some kinks, such as, certain things are still referring to my former blog name and I don't know how to fix that because I'm tech-stoopid. But, this is it.

So, why the name change? Well, I was never completely sold on Sinsationally Me. But I thought it was a clever play on words since I had just moved to Las Vegas: Sin City. But then I got tired of people not getting it when I told them my blog's name. And I got tired of answering questions like, "So, what do you write about, Sins?" Note to future bloggers: Make sure you totally love your blog's name before committing to it because the changes to this, that, and everything else your blog is associated with is um, nightmarish.

It took me a while to come up with The Fearless Scribe. I played around with a few names. Did some research. Asked for Bill and Little Man's advice. And when I finally had that "Yes!" moment, I knew I had the name I wanted.

If you're a follower and still here, thanks for your patience during my renovation. If you're new here, Hello! And welcome.

Now, I have to go because Sleepy Hollow is on and the Headless Horseman waits for no man. Or woman.




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Quick update

I'm making some changes here...again. Thanks for your patience while I figure out and fix up some stuff. By the way, anyone have experience with a soldering gun? No? Okay then, I shall return to posting here soon.

We will return soon

Thanks for the obvious sign because I had no idea what to do here.

Yesterday Chris had his 3 month checkup with his endocrinologist (diabetes doctor). Aside from the fact that he grew an inch in the 3 months since his last appointment and will soon be towering over me, it was fine and he's doing great. After that we went to the local pizza place in that part of town.

As we were sitting at a table waiting for our slices I looked up at the big "Order Here" sign over the counter. And I thought to myself, "Self! Why the need for such an obvious sign?" I mean, where else would I place my order? The ladies room? Do people really need a sign to tell them where to go to place a simple pizza order? I guess so. Or maybe the owner got tired of people walking in, sitting down and shouting what they wanted from across the room. Reminds me of that scene in "As Good As It Gets" with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson where Nicholson's character yells his order to a passing waiter when they are out to dinner.

I was going to snap a quick picture of the sign but I was afraid the owner/pizza maker/order taker wouldn't have been down with it. Besides he might have taken me for some pizza spy who was trying to steal pie-making secrets for another pizza joint and thrown us out. And we were hungry. So, instead I drew a picture.

A guide to understanding my drawing: The odd-square type thing on the counter is supposed to be a register and the round shape with slices next to it is a pizza. The oval above the pizza guy's head is a pizza he's tossing and not a UFO trying to abduct him. Also, I added the "Best Pizza Ever" statement. It was my way of making amends to how poorly drawn pizza guy is.

Life is great with Indy and Neo

I've watched the Indiana Jones movies and Matrix trilogy many times over the years. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen Shorty yell, "You call him Dr. Jones!" or heard Morpheus proclaim that "Neo is 'The One'". I still watch them when I'm flipping through the channels and happen upon them. Sometimes they're just background noise while I'm on the computer or tidying up (yeah, right) my room. Such was the case this past weekend.

With Bill working stupid hours on Friday and Saturday nights, I try to find things to do that will keep Chris occupied, while allowing us to spend a little Mother/Son bonding time. That's where Indy and Neo came in. Prior to bedtime we cuddled up together and watched Keanu Reeves and Harrison Ford battle bad guys respectively.

Both were nice, relaxing nights in. We laughed. We acted out favorite lines we knew by heart. Sometimes it's the seemingly small, not so significant things that remind us how great life is.

Getting knocked up. How times have changed.

The term 'knocked up', today, generally means you're preggers. But back in the 1920s some people actually had jobs as a knocker up. No, they didn't run around impregnating women! Knocker uppers were human alarm clocks who went throughout town knocking on windows to wake up sleeping people so they weren't late for work. You can read about it here.


He's not trying to break in, he just wants to knock you up.

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So then, talk around the dinner table, such as, "Did you hear about Jane Smith? She got herself knocked up." would sound perfectly normal and unscathing.

I have to wonder though, who knocked up the knocker ups?

Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween from Morticia Addams and her special ops forces (aka Little Man).

Our Jack-o-lantern courtesy of Bill and Christopher.

Sadly, this was the first Halloween in the 21 years that Bill and I have been together that he couldn't get out of work and missed most of the festivities. Hope everyone else had a safe and happy.

This is (almost) Halloween

Bill has been going around the house singing this for days now so I thought I'd put it on here in honor of tomorrow's holiday:

"This is Halloween" from "The Nightmare Before Christmas"

[SHADOW]
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

[SIAMESE SHADOW]
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween

[PUMPKIN PATCH CHORUS]
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

[GHOSTS]
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

[CREATURE UNDER THE BED]
I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

[MAN UNDER THE STAIRS]
I am the one hiding under yours stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

[CORPSE CHORUS]
This is Halloween, this is Halloween

[VAMPIRES]
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

[MAYOR]
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

[CORPSE CHORUS]
Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...

[HARLEQUIN DEMON, WEREWOLF & MELTING MAN]
Scream! This is Halloween
Red 'n' black, slimy green

[WEREWOLF]
Aren't you scared?

[WITCHES]
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night

[HANGING TREE]
Everybody scream, everbody scream

[HANGED MEN]
In our town of Halloween!

[CLOWN]
I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace

[SECOND GHOUL]
I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair

[OOGIE BOOGIE SHADOW]
I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

[CORPSE CHORUS]
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween! 

[CHILD CORPSE TRIO]
Tender lumplings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare

[PARENT CORPSES]
That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

[CORPSE CHORUS]
In this town

[MAYOR]
Don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise 

[CORPSE CHORUS]
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everyone scream
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now!

[EVERYONE]
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

[CORPSE CHILD TRIO]
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

[EVERYONE]
La la la la-la la [Repeat]