I freely admit that I'm a scaredy cat

Yesterday while I was out running errands I came across this:

Step right in, past the razor sharp teeth.

This is one of three Haunted Houses being set-up near where I live. So, naturally, I got out of my car and took a pic which I posted to Facebook specifically for one of my friends who has a fear of clowns. (Just so you know, I did this in jest and she took it as such. I'm not a complete meanie.)

I remember seeing the flyers advertising this huge Halloween attraction and so I did some googling research. Two of the houses are your run-of-the-mill spooky haunts. People in ripped/bloody/scary clothes acting out all kinds of horror shows. The above is called "Circus of Horrors"and the other is called "Castle Vampyre".

The husband is all over this shit. Me? No. Hell, no. Read on.

Then there's the third Haunted House called, "The Gates of Hell". Of course with a name like that, how could I resist?  (That's sarcasm, there). But wait, it gets better. The sub-heading is called, "The Victim Experience II" because last year's "Victim Experience I" was such a huge hit with all the scare lovers!

Now, let's take a closer look at this and see exactly why, even if I wasn't such a Scaredy McFraidypants I will NOT be going. GoH is rated R for mature audiences. (Who you callin' mature??) And, there's a list of rules and regulations. The big one is that in buying the tickets and entering you are allowing the actors to not only violate your personal space but to get handsy because you are after all, the Victim. There's even a safe word! So, thanks, but no thanks. The closest I get to any of this is reading about it from the safety of my own weird little home.

Considering how de-sensitized to violence our society has become, this really does sound brilliant. Not enough to make me go, but still.

I've always thought it would be cool to be an actor in a haunted house. I know, this makes no sense because I'm not a fan of them as a 'guest' but I think actually doing the scaring is a different matter. I know this makes me a loser in that whole 'you can dish it out but you can't take it' way. However, to be fair, I have gone to my share of haunted houses in the past. I always got picked on, too, despite the brave "you can't scare me" face I put on. Maybe because I was the shortest?

When it comes to candy, that's a different matter. On Halloween I go right up to the front door no matter how spooky the houses are decorated. I won't let a little scare keep me from my sweets, I mean, keep my kid from his treats.

In New Jersey, there was a house around the corner from where we lived that went all out one Halloween. They would "plant" actors to stand on line with you (yes, there was a line it was that popular) as you waited to get candy. Then the other characters would periodically drag these actors away seemingly against their will. It was scary and cool at the same time.


Who out there is skeered of haunted houses and who loves to get the crap scared outta them?