Funny answers to medical questions

This post might be violating 10 different HIPAA laws. Or not. But since I'm not naming names or vital statistics I should be in the clear.
---------------

Since Chris has diabetes it's recommended that he see an Optometrist to keep tabs on his eyes/vision because T1d doesn't just wreck your pancreas, it can also damage other organs. One of the many reasons why this disease sucks. Anyway, I promise this post gets funnier.

So, I made an appointment and the very nice woman who worked there directed me to their website to fill out the medical forms in advance. The questions were routine. Some of my answers, however, were not.

In the "Family Medical History" part it asked if the mother had any eye conditions. I technically don't but I've been putting off seeing an eye doctor myself because I'm a big wimp who's eyes aren't what they used to be.


My answer: Mom is currently ignoring any possible eye conditions. 

When I told Bill he laughed. Not at my answer but at my honest reply. Then he proceeded with his same, tired speech about how I should just go and get my eyes looked at and blah blah blah.

Under the section "Personal Social History" it asked a series of questions such as, "Do you drive?" "Do you smoke?" "Do you use alcohol?" and "Do you use any illegal drugs?" Of course I answered NO to all because He's 10! And their final question was, "Anything else you'd like to tell us about your social history?"

My answer: Patient is 10. His only vice is playing too much Minecraft on the computer. I wanted to add: If patient indulged in any of the above he would have more problems than simple eye care.

I'm hoping my replies made their office laugh. Or at the very least smile. Is it too late to claim temporary insanity? Or a hacker? Or a temporary hacker?

Hump Day Confessions

Hump Day confession time!

I freely admit to writing this post while munching on some peanut M & M's and watching Thor for the 87th time. No shame. None.

I confess that I sometimes choose a trashy novel based on the good-looking guy on the cover. However, when I scan the back cover to see what it's about, if the plot sounds too stoopid I will promptly put it back. I do need some substance, people! Still, check out these covers.

source

I make a lot of Pop Culture references here on my blog and I confess that I have no plans to stop any time soon. Perhaps when I re-named my blog last November I should have gone with The Pop Culture Scribe.

source

Last weekend I unplugged for a day and a half, meaning I took a break from my computer and the Internet. And while it felt a bit like I was missing an arm I did not regret it. At all. And I even went Old Skool and wrote with an actual pen and paper. 

source

Gif source

Feel free to share your confessions, comments or, pizza with me.

Working with Sherry Baby

Many years ago when I was in High School I worked at a bathing suit store in one of  our local malls. That was a fun job! Anyway, one of the girls I worked with was named, Sherry. So, of course, every time I had to talk to her I would do the Frankie Valli thing and sing "Sherry, Sherry Baby".

I'm sure she felt the same as I did/still do when someone would sing the Grease version of "Sandy" or "Sandra Dee". But still, I sang the song whenever I needed to speak to Sherry. Sometimes she laughed and shook her head. Sometimes she did the Jersey eye roll. 

I was reminded of this recently when my parents were playing a Frankie Valli cd and that particular song came on.

Anyway, I wonder where she is today and if she remembers that crazy girl who used to sing her name. I like to think I broke up the monotony of the day, especially during the winter when we were so stinkin' slow.

The choice is yours

You have two choices when faced with something scary, troublesome, or uncertain. You can be afraid of it or you can face it head on and overcome.

The decision is yours so choose wisely.

Hump Day

Psst! Want to hear some confessions? Okay, good. Popcorn for everyone!

I confess that I've been watching the TV show, Chasing Life. At first I was on the fence about it because it's about a young woman dealing with a cancer diagnosis but now I watch it despite the parts that make me weepy.

I confess that prior to this past weekend I had never played Laser Tag. It was So Much Fun!!! Even though my kid (X-Ray) is a better shot than me I did get a respectable score for a first timer. Bill was Cyborg, which is funny considering he has titanium steel in his back from spinal surgery years ago.

I was Hunter.

I did even better the second time. Maybe because we had more people playing with us. Bill was Omega and Chris was Rogue.

This time I was Thor because, of course I was!

Remember that coffee mug I made in my Zazzle store with the Sixteen Candles quote? Welllllll....turns out I conflicted with some guideline rules stuff so they sent me an email saying:

 

Thank you for your interest in Zazzle.com,                                 and thank you for publishing products on Zazzle.

Unfortunately, it appears that your product, Hot stuff coffee/tea mug, contains content that is in conflict with one or more of our acceptable content guidelines.

We will be removing this product from the Zazzle Marketplace shortly. Blah blah blah.

Whatever I did wrong was completely unintentional, however, I did see many other items with movie quotes on them so I'm wondering why my coffee mug was red flagged. But, I'm not curious enough to actually make a stink about it. 

Gif source



Thus ends our weekly confessional. Y'all come back now, ya hear!

Start spreading the news but use a chalkboard

A week ago Little Man and I went to New York New York casino because I thought it would be fun. For a Friday afternoon. On the Strip. I'm ridiculous that way. Normally we try to avoid the Strip on weekends like the plague because it's full of tourists and while I am grateful of their visit because it pays our taxes they sometimes annoy me  provoke me to a murderous rage get on my nerves. Anyway,  NYNY has this huge arcade called Coney Island so I loaded us up with quarters and dollars and off we went.

After playing for a while he eventually got bored so we wandered around inside and then took a brief walk out on the faux Brooklyn Bridge. Outside the casino on a side wall they have a big blackboard with chalk for visitors to write stuff.

Spreading the news

I know it's not very original, however, in my defense, I was with my kid or else I might have written something inappropriate. Then again, when has that ever stopped me?

If we can make it here...

Another view. We may not be A number one but we were top of the list, or at the very least, top of the chalkboard. Anyway,  we had a good time. We wanted to be a part of it New York, New York. And we were.

[Forgive the lyrical references to the song, "New York, New York" but I was trying to be clever. Note the word "trying".]

Hump Day Confessin' time

Oh Wednesday you dirty, little bird, come here and let me confess some shtuff (intentional 'h' put in there) to you!

After watching Sixteen Candles for the 527th time I made a coffee mug in my Zazzle store that says: "What's happenin' Hot Stuff" because I thought it would be a clever play on words. Hot Stuff. Coffee is hot. Um, ok.

I finally tried Burger King's Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger. This looked soooo good with onion rings on top, I couldn't wait to try it! Sadly it was only so-so. The anticipation and commercial were better than the actual sandwich.

source

We were at the park and my son was playing with another boy. His mom called for him, "Tony!" And I thought of Tony, Danny's "friend" from The Shining.

source

My son thought of Tony Stark, naturally.

source

Bill thought of Tony Soprano complete with hand gesture. Now that I think of it, I'm surprised this wasn't my first Tony choice.

source

And this concludes this week's confessions. Time for some pizza-flavored goldfish!

Fun dream jobs

I read somewhere once that if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Or something like that. Makes sense to me because let's say you love make up. Then being a make up artist, or clown for that matter, would seem more like fun than a job.

So I got to thinking, what would I consider to be more fun than actual work? Some on this list of my dream jobs might look unrealistic but I'm sure there are people out there getting paid to do these things.

Mattress Tester
I would love to do this. Imagine getting paid to lay around and take a nap? The Simmons Beauty Sleep is comfy but I'm going to have to try the Serta Perfect Sleeper again. Wake me in 20 minutes. 

source

Donut Taste Tester
This might not be the best job in our health conscious society but it sure would be the tastiest. Dunkin Donuts, do you have this position available? Call me.

source

Race Car Driver
My love of speed and the lead foot my husband claims I have make me wish I could be a race car driver. Driving fast legally? Yes, please.

source

80s Theme Party Consultant
I grew up in this decade so I know a thing or five about it. Music? Got it. Movies? Yep. Clothes? Ashamedly so. Still, I can make your party so, like, totally awesome!

source

Right now, though, I'd settle for a work-at-home job that let's me write for a living while sitting on my comfy bed eating donuts. The only fast thing needed would be my internet connection.

Fear in movies

For this week's Fearless Friday I thought I would share a few movie quotes that talk about fear.


From After Earth:

"Fear is not real, it is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me; danger is very real.  But fear is a choice."

source

From The Green Lantern:

"Fear is the enemy of will. Will is what makes you take action. Fear is what stops you and makes you weak. You must ignore your fear. When you're afraid, you can't act." 

source

From Apocalypto:

"Fear is a sickness. It will crawl into the soul of anyone who engages it."

source

From Star Wars Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace: (This is perhaps one of the most well-known movie quotes about fear.)

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

source

Movie quote source:



 

Hump Day

So I was wondering, has a Priest ever fallen asleep during confession? Just curious. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Yesterday at the grocery store I sampled a handful of grapes in the Produce Section without paying. I couldn't help it, they were so juicy and sweet! Father? Hello? *Snooooooore* I mean, that would be embarrassing, don't you think? Also, this was a totally made up scenario and not at all based on anything that I might have done. And now let's get to it, Hump Day Confessions of a Fearless Scribe.

There's nothing better than having a Bomb Pop on a hot summer night. Especially when a storm's brewing and lightning is all around. I'm one of those few weirdos who gets all excited for a good thunderstorm.

source

Also, Bomb Pop sticks now have riddles on them. I guess this is more for the kids with popsicle juice dripping down their arms and not for the cynical grown up watching the sky light up. In case you can't read it, the riddle asks: What kind of tree would have the best bark? Answer: Dogwood.

Har Har

Been catching up on our movies by watching those we missed in the theaters because we were too busy/broke/undecided. So, thanks to the library (and my *cough* unwavering *cough* patience the last 5 months while waiting for these to become available) we got to see Gravity. I liked it. Bill thought it was okay. We also watched Captain Phillips, which was really good. Of course the guys loved the end with the Seal team. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I loved that part, too. And then of course, there was one night last week where Sixteen Candles and Jaws were on simultaneously. Both are excellent movies so how could I choose? I didn't and watched both.

Lastly, I'd like to send out some love (and Belgian chocolates) to the Humpday Link up lady herself because she's got the blogging blues. Kathy, this one's for you.

*source: reactiongifs.com

More readers from around the world

About six months ago I wrote about the page views I got from people in other countries. I thought I would check in again, and see who from around the world was reading my blog.

So, Hello to everyone (and anyone) in other countries. And thanks for reading!





*Translated hellos in blue are from me and thanks to wikitravel.

Entry	Pageviews
United States	175 Hey People!
Germany	16 Guten Tag!
United Kingdom	13 Hello from across the pond!
Canada	5 Eh!
Russia	3 Здравствуйте!
Turkey	3 Merhaba!
France	2 Merci for reading!
South Korea	2 Mannaseo Bangapseumnida!
Latvia	2 Sveiki!
Ukraine	2 Добрий день!

Fearless 4th of July

In honor of our nation's Independence Day I'm saluting those fearless heros past and present who defend(ed) our country so that we may enjoy the freedoms that we have.

source

Have a great holiday!

Hump Day Confessional

Confession time!

Thanks insurance company for making changes regarding my son's diabetic supplies that I only find out when I go to renew one of his prescriptions. One wasted pharmacy visit, 4 phone calls and two hours later...

source

Some women buy lotsa shoes. Not me. I like handbags. I have a large one to stash a lot of junk in and a small one for nights on the town when you just need cash and cell phone. And then there are the in-between purses for quick runs to the store and such. I was in the market for a medium one that would be cute enough for those nights out to dinner, yet roomy enough to fit Chris' diabetes supplies. After driving Loss Prevention insane as they (quite possibly) watched me place my current handbag's contents into several of their store's purses, just to see if it would all fit, I finally found one. Score!

source

Other than that it's hot as the surface of the sun here. I keep my butt in the a/c but when I do have to venture outdoors. Damn!

source

That be all. Have a good week and stay cool.