Thursday, July 31, 2014

Funny answers to medical questions

This post might be violating 10 different HIPAA laws. Or not. But since I'm not naming names or vital statistics I should be in the clear.

Since Chris has diabetes it's recommended that he see an Optometrist to keep tabs on his eyes/vision because T1d doesn't just wreck your pancreas, it can also damage other organs. One of the many reasons why this disease sucks. Anyway, I promise this post gets funnier.

So, I made an appointment and the very nice woman who worked there directed me to their website to fill out the medical forms in advance. The questions were routine. Some of my answers, however, were not.

In the "Family Medical History" part it asked if the mother had any eye conditions. I technically don't but I've been putting off seeing an eye doctor myself because I'm a big wimp who's eyes aren't what they used to be.

My answer: Mom is currently ignoring any possible eye conditions. 

When I told Bill he laughed. Not at my answer but at my honest reply. Then he proceeded with his same, tired speech about how I should just go and get my eyes looked at and blah blah blah.

Under the section "Personal Social History" it asked a series of questions such as, "Do you drive?" "Do you smoke?" "Do you use alcohol?" and "Do you use any illegal drugs?" Of course I answered NO to all because He's 10! And their final question was, "Anything else you'd like to tell us about your social history?"

My answer: Patient is 10. His only vice is playing too much Minecraft on the computer. I wanted to add: If patient indulged in any of the above he would have more problems than simple eye care.

I'm hoping my replies made their office laugh. Or at the very least smile. Is it too late to claim temporary insanity? Or a hacker? Or a temporary hacker?

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