I am not happy. That doesn't mean I spend my days as a miserable wretch living life with a sourpuss. No. There are days of levity, smiles and awesomeness. Hell, there are days of downright hilarity. Much of it is evidenced here on this blog. However, I'm not happy. I know you're saying to yourself, "Happy? Who is?" And I understand. I get it. No one is completely 100% happy.
Let me backtrack and try to explain exactly what I mean. I feel like I misplaced my happy. I allowed my happiness to be determined by other people, places, and things. I pretty much expected it that way. And in waiting-hoping-expecting people, or places, or things to make me happy, I lost it.
This isn't to say that people can't make you happy. My son does that easily just by being his adorable and silly self. Places and things can also make you happy. But, you shouldn't rely on or expect them to make you happy. I lost myself and my happy by doing just that. And now I'm trying to get it back.
This is my journey to find my happiness. I know it won't happen overnight. But each day I will look for some bit of happiness. And I will make a conscious effort to release people, places, and things of my expectations to be happy. I don't plan on posting an update everyday but I will chronicle my progress here and there. If you already have happiness in your life, then 'Yay!' for you; hold on to it tightly and don't let go. If you need to find your happy, feel free to join me on the journey.