Happy New Year, have some cookies and be fearless

So here we are on the last day of 2014. It's unusually cold here this New Year's Eve. We're talking in the 30's. Hard to believe that a few months ago we were sweating our butts off.

This year I experienced a lot of fun, joy, love, and laughter. I saw great kindness and my family and I were even on the receiving end of some stranger's kind act when he paid for our meal when we were out to dinner for our anniversary. Hopefully next year I can repay that kindness to someone else.

My wish for all of us this new year is that we live and love, work and play fearlessly. And eat pizza and cookies without regret.

Tis the season for grrr-ing.

Christmas has come and gone. And with it so has goodwill toward men. Or at least that's what I saw at the After-Christmas sales in the stores today.

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Amid all the half price decorations and wrapping paper there was griping and shopping carts being pushed into people.

I managed to buy some gift paper and tags for next year's wrapping frenzy without sustaining any bodily harm. And luckily for my fellow shoppers, no one got whacked on the head as I juggled six rolls of wrapping paper. I almost took out an elderly lady as I was checking on some tissue paper. Almost. But in my defense she did knock into me with her over-sized purse so I'm pretty sure we would have been even.

Was anyone else brave enough to enter a store the day after Christmas? Come on guys, don't leave me hangin'.

Merry Merry!

Have yourself a fearless little Christmas
Let your joy be great
I've got cookies sitting here on my plate.

Note to self: Leave some for Santa!

Merry Christmas!

~From the Fearless Scribe

Christmas Eve eve

Twas the night before the night before Christmas when all through my house, everyone was stirring because well, it's only Dec. 23rd and also way too early for bed.

Thankfully all my shopping and wrapping is done. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I spent more time at Target and Walmart this season than any person is meant to because I was always forgetting something or other. But that's all done now.

So tonight I'm relaxing with some hot beverage, maybe tea or cocoa, and watching The Santa Clause and whatever other Christmas movie is on.

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Speaking of, it's been 20 years since The Santa Clause came out in theaters. Back then Bill and I were just dating. I remember we spent a nice day together first Christmas shopping at one of the jersey malls before going to see the movie and then ending with a nice dinner. He takes my word for this because of course his memory is shaky at best.

If you're still out and about doing last minute shopping, you have my sympathies and understanding. In years past I've spent many of the last few days and hours before Christmas in crowded stores frantically trying to get that final gift, or two, or five.

If you're still up to your ears in wrapping paper, remember gift bags are your friend.

And if you're all done then woo hoo! Curl up in your jammies and have a hot (or cold) one with me.

I'm secretly a Griswold

I watch, quote and know way too much about "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and I freely admit it. In fact my current ringtone is the scene where Cousin Eddie yells "Merry Christmas! Shitter was full." It makes for interesting looks and much amusement if I'm out somewhere and someone calls me. I'm sure none of this is considered healthy behavior. Or normal.

Knowing all of this it should come as no surprise to anyone that my dad recently sent me the following and I did really well.

The Hardest "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" Quiz You'll Ever Take

You got 13 out of 14 right!

You should've been born a Griswold. (This sounds like a back-handed compliment)

1. Warner Bros.

The only one I got wrong was how many strands, bulbs, and lights does Clark put on the house? In my defense this question wasn't fair because it involved numbers and I'm a self-confessed math idiot. Anyway, below is the link to the quiz if you want to test your knowledge of the movie. If not then Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, Happy Hanukkah. 


The Hardest Christmas Vacation Quiz You'll Ever Take

The true meaning of Christmas

If you're in search of Christmas magic you should go see what's happening over here . An entire community of people helping those less fortunate provide a nice Christmas for their children. All in the name of a taxidermied boar, named after the 20th President of the U.S. Okay, so you need to be a follower of her blog to understand that last sentence.

It all started on Monday, December 15, with a simple post by The Bloggess: If you need help, or if you want to help. And from there it snowballed.

Some of the comments are heart-breaking. But the offered help and replies are truly humbling and show what Christmas is really about.

Those who have nothing to give are offering words of support and encouragement. Emails and holiday e-cards are being exchanged to those suffering from loneliness and despair. It's awe-inspiring and at the very least has restored many people's faith in humanity.

In addition, donations have been given to specifically named charities that help homeless children and help end world hunger and poverty.

The people (tribe as we are affectionately called) involved at this site have given more warm-fuzzies than the cuddliest of teddy bears. Just reading and watching from afar is like being wrapped in a fleece blanket while sipping hot chocolate. I half expect to hear a chorus of Who's singing Welcome Christmas.

So if you're cynical by nature or feeling Grinchy or Scrooge-like this season, know that there is good in the world. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it. Sometimes it happens without much fanfare and across many miles and behind computer screens. But it's there.

This entire event has made believers out of us all that Santa Claus really does exist. And for the many, many children who will wake up Christmas morning to find presents under their tree when they (and especially their parents) didn't think there would be anything, the magic of Santa can continue.

Spreading a little holiday kindness

Everyone knows the song, "The 12 Days of Christmas", right? Well, this year I started my own variation on this popular holiday song. Instead of calling birds and partridges in pear trees I have been recognizing 12 friends on facebook with a private message telling them I appreciate them. Some have overcome great loss and tragedy this year. One is a former serviceman and another is a devoted mom. Each one is special in his/her own way and my recognition focuses on that.

I began doing this on Saturday, December 13 so my 12 days lead right up to Christmas. 

So far, this has been well-received and I've gotten surprised messages back thanking me for my kindness. But I'm not doing this for accolades. I'm doing this because the world is filled with horrors and sadness and because at this time of year, we could all benefit from a little kindness.

Please feel free to take this idea and use it to spread some holiday cheer and kindness to your own friends.

Relax and be merry

This is a busy time of year. It can also be a stressful time, too. So allow me to share some tips and hints to help you prepare for the holidays while keeping your sanity intact. Consider them my gift to you. (Refunds not available, results may vary.)


The Road Less Traveled

There's been a lot of construction and street re-routing going on in my neck of the woods. In order to not sit in the traffic and get into a yelling/cursing match with the other drivers when I go out Christmas shopping, I take the back roads as often as possible. It might take me a bit longer to get there but it is way calmer on my nerves. So if you know of an alternate way to get where you're going, I advise you to take it.


Making A List...

Santa does it and so do I. Although I make lists because my memory has become ridiculous. But seriously, it helps when I have multiple stores to go to if I have a list of what I'm buying and from where. This saves me from having those "what did I come here for?" moments. It also prevents that son of a b- exclamation when I get in the car to leave, only to realize I forgot something I needed to buy.

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Get Into the Spirit

No, I'm not talking the Spirit of Christmas Past, Present or Future. I mean whatever you need to make yourself merry. Play some Christmas music in the car when you're out shopping. Better yet, once you're home for the night, have a little holiday cocktail or taste some of the baked goodies you (or someone else) made. There's no shame. I won't judge. Whatever you choose to deck your halls and stay mellow, it's all good.


The Internet Is Your Friend

Ah, shopping online. Hassle-free. No dashing through the snow and fighting for a parking space. No waiting on line. And best of all, can be done in your sweats, pajamas or ugliest Christmas sweater while eating freshly baked cookies.

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I highly recommend all of these because no one likes their parent/spouse to be a Jolly Asshole at The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

May your cup runneth over

I pinned this quote a while ago on Pinterest and was reminded of it recently when someone re-pinned it. With all the unrest, hostility, and suffering going on and with the frenzy of preparing for the holiday, I thought it would be nice to take a moment to reflect on this:

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A little laughter during the holiday craziness

In between all the shopping, wrapping, baking, eating, visiting, donating, and decorating you have going on at this time of year, here are some Christmas funnies to make you laugh.


I like this for so many reasons, not the least of which is that I'm a fan of the King.

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These days, that's about the size of it.

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If it weren't for the step ladder our tree would look like this, too. #shortpeopleproblems.

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From the Tree Water Vineyards:

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So while you're rushing and stressing, don't forget to laugh a little this Christmas.

Can I refill your eggnog for you?

Every now and then the local casinos "give away" some cool gifts to its gamblers, I mean patrons. I say "give away" because you need to gamble a bit every now and then to be recognized as worthy. Most people (Vegas residents) just use the "free play" like $5 or $20 that they award you for coming to their casino rather than using their own hard-earned money. Either way you have to earn the gift.

Yesterday my dad came home with such a Christmas gift. He was very excited about it and couldn't wait to show me and the rest of the family. No, it wasn't money. Nor was it a gold watch. Something way better, at least to our easily entertained eyes.

I give you The Clark Griswold Glass Moose Mug.

It looks exactly like the one Clark drinks Eggnog out of when Cousin Eddie and family came to visit and also when he got his Jelly Of The Month Club bonus.

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And because my family and I are such fans of Christmas Vacation, we loved it. I told dad he should fill it with red and green M & M's for the holiday. I'm not sure if he plans on using it to drink with this season but right now it is proudly displayed on the living room end table.

Soup and sliders

For lunch today I had some chicken noodle soup. And two White Castle sliders (of the frozen variety since WC doesn't exist out here). Talk about a contradiction in terms. One is good, warm, and for the most part, healthy. The other is an all-out greasy, food glom of the unhealthiest kind that most people (especially those in Jersey) will eat only after a night of excessive drinking or, if you're constipated.

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Somehow this reminded me of a time I was out with a friend of mine at our local diner. She ordered a salad with extra cheese and extra dressing (not the fat-free kind), and a cheeseburger with fries. And a diet coke. I was like, What? Are you kidding? Does it really matter at this point? She said she preferred the taste. I guess the body wants what the body wants.

I admit mine was a weird craving. I think I thought the soup wouldn't be filling enough. Turns out I was wrong. -Feeling full.

And so ends NaBloPoMo for November 2014

Okay so I didn't blog for the entire month but 20 posts out of a possible 30 isn't so bad. Right? I think what's important is the effort made. Kind of like, it's the thought that counts.

If this were a school test I would have scored a B-. Or at the very least a C+. I wonder if I write two posts for today I could get some sort of extra credit. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. I couldn't even post every single day during the month so doing 2 posts on the last day would be like a Christmas miracle.

Anyway, it's been fun and I got to read some really great blogs in my reading travels that were written by more disciplined bloggers than me who actually wrote a blog post a day. Yeah some of you people are way awesomer than me.

 

So even though I feel like I'm crawling toward the NaBloPoMo finish line it's nice to know that I went through this with such a wonderful community of bloggers. And I can honestly look back to when I first signed on to do this and say, wtf was I thinking?

Here's a little celebratory Rah! Rah! gif to commemorate the occasion. We did it!

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I love this movie, but seriously when I say "We did it!" in my head it's less like Elle Woods and more like Grumpy Cat.

Now tell me, did anyone else blog for less than the whole month? Come on, don't leave me hanging here all alone.

Zounds or holy crap, it's all the same in meaning

On Sleepy Hollow this past Monday, Ichabod, in frustration, said the phrase "God's wounds". I'm guessing this was their version of "holy crap". So I thought, hmm let me look up the whats and wheres of this phrase.

According to Wiktionary, the term comes from Christ's wounds before the crucifixion.

Sadly, God's wounds has suffered the same fate as the planet, Pluto, in that it's been demoted. Yep. Recognize the word, Zounds? No? Well, humor me because that's what has become of God's wounds.

Seems kind of sacrilegious. But I guess if you're in a hurry or don't want to sound so wordy, or if you have limited word/character space then Zounds is a better fit. So maybe it's not actually a demotion but an economical wording preference. God's wounds just happened to get edited. Makes sense to me.

Holidays aren't supposed to be perfect

It never fails. No matter how organized or planned out you are, there's always something that gets forgotten. And so it goes that today, the day before Thanksgiving, I was at the local grocery store picking up that one those two several things that were still needed for tomorrow's meal.

I don't mind. In fact I expect it. It's as inevitable as burning dinner rolls or someone spilling something on the table linen during dinner. I always say, it's not a successful meal until someone spills something or ends up eating on their clothes. Unless you dripped sauce on your shirt because that's messy and stains instantly. So does hot chocolate. We won't talk about how I know this.

But these things make great stories for all the Thanksgivings to come. And as long as you are surrounded by good friends and family who don't mind a little mess and there's something delicious (or at least edible) to eat tomorrow, then that's all that matters. Unless you're the turkey.

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A reminder in light of recent events

Because we could all benefit from remembering this.

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A quick dessert idea for Thanksgiving

I'm not a foodie blogger and I don't pretend to be one. In fact any food-related posts usually just reference my love for cookies. And brownies. But since we're heading into Thanksgiving week and everywhere I turn there's a food recipe or commercial, I thought I would make an exception. I've made this several times and everyone loves it (especially me when I lick the spoons during clean up).


Layered Pudding In A Cup

If you're hosting turkey dinner this year and have a need for a quick dessert (as if you don't have enough to do), or, if you want to be nice and bring dessert then this is a delicious and easy-to-make dish. It doesn't require a lot of ingredients (you're welcome) or a lot of prep time and best of all, you can make it in advance.

Amounts vary based on how many people are in your party. Here are the  how's and what's of my dessert:

1 box of vanilla pudding (I used Jello for both)
1 box of chocolate pudding
Reddi Wip whipped cream in a can
2 mixing bowls
A clear glass or mug (I used a small coffee mug for mine)

Mix each pudding in a separate bowl.

Place vanilla pudding as first layer.
Then add the chocolate pudding.
Spray a little whipped cream layer.
Add more vanilla pudding.
Add more chocolate pudding.
Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until chilled or until serving time.
Feel free to make an extra one for yourself for sampling purposes.

Top with whipped cream before serving.

You can also add chocolate sprinkles or a cherry to the top.

Of course, you can use whatever pudding flavors you and your guests like. I went with basic flavors because I'm plain like that and it was just simpler that way.

Sadly, I don't have a pic to post. Here's what my dessert would have looked like in a glass and with one less vanilla layer.

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Enjoy! And let me know how it turns out. Except if it's bad, then let's keep it between us.

These are harmless and funny

I want to be friends with whoever is responsible for these. I know if I do the first one people will look at me oddly but that's okay I'm used to it. At the very least I'll make myself laugh because I think it's funny.


I was tempted to do this at the grocery store this morning but it was so busy that I just wanted to get out of there. Some other time, detergents, some other time.

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I love this because I used to "mis"label the file cabinets in my former co-workers' offices with tags like, Contraband, Body Parts, and Lost Socks. 

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The Devil's Arithmetic

6a - 3b
2(x + 4)
5x + 3 = -2

This is what my son is learning in Math class. He's only in sixth grade. At least I was in 8th grade when I had to learn Algebra. I barely passed. When I finally finished all the required math classes in school, which included absurdly enough, Algebra II, my guidance counselors wisely kept me from stepping foot inside another one.

Because I love to read and write, I did very well in English and Literature classes. But numbers and I are like oil and water, we do not get along.

My son is the opposite. English is his least favorite class but he loves math. I don't get it. I blame the husband.


Algebra is the Devil's Arithmetic. Numbers and letters mixing together. I think a, b, x, and y all need to mind their own business.

Sometimes during homework, he gets frustrated and declares, I don't understand what this means! You and me both, kid. But after a moment he 'gets it' and goes on solving the problems with ease while I'm sitting there referencing Google for help.

This all reminds me of when I was working for a company in NJ. Somehow the burden of monthly and quarterly tax filings fell on me. I told them I couldn't do it because quite plainly I sucked at math. I protested. I pleaded with them. I think I even held my breath until I turned blue.

In their defense, it wasn't that big a deal and the off-site bookkeeper taught me what to do and always looked over my work.

But still, what were they thinking? I couldn't even be trusted to make a decent cup of coffee.

I envy people who are math whizzes. Give them a numeric problem and they can do it in their heads and give you the answer. I'm the one counting on fingers and trying to remember to carry the 2.  And let's just forget the x's and y's, shall we?

I'm not done with my Christmas shopping, in fact I haven't even started

Has anyone started their Christmas shopping yet? No? Okay, good. Now I don't feel so bad. I do, however, have a list appropriately titled, "Ideas of What to Get People". This list will get updated, changed, crumpled up and smoothed out several times before the last gift is purchased. But it's a start!

I have this friend who just posted that she is nearly done with all her shopping. I could just reach through my computer and smack her with a turkey leg. But I think we all have that one friend. You know the one. She's super organized and always just so ready for the holidays. If I have all my gifts bought and wrapped by Christmas Eve I call it a win.

And whoever came up with the gift bag idea is a genius in my book. Take your present, add some tissue paper (or, if you're in a pinch - tissues, not used of course) and toss it in a bag and you're done. Simple.

Have I mentioned that my wrapping is sub-par? I'm known for using too much tape and having too little paper. It's not entirely my fault that when I put the item down it moves as I'm cutting the wrapping paper. But I have perfected the art of cobbling together scraps of paper for those times I do come up short on one end.

This looks like something I wrapped.

I bring all this up because yesterday while I was at the store I noticed something that would be cool for the husband. Did I buy it? No. Because I prefer adding the undue stress to my life of running around like a crazy person looking for a gift that I saw weeks ago but didn't buy. I'm not even sure it was on the list.

Thanks-for-giving such laughs

We're coming down the homestretch to Thanksgiving so I wanted to share some turkey day funnies. This first one should appeal to anyone who's ever been elbow deep in a turkey's butt trying to grab the giblets and gizzards found in there.

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I'd rather sit at the kid's table quite personally. There, you don't have to partake in boring grown-up conversation. And you get to throw peas at the other kids and tell fart jokes and laugh until someone yells at you to "keep it down". Wait a minute. I still tell fart jokes and laugh even now at the adult table. Nevermind.

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And of course, the Peanuts Gang.

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I once worked with a girl who didn't like turkey. Come to think of it, I don't think she ate any poultry. Anyway, for Thanksgiving, her Italian grandma would cook lasagna specifically for her.  This would be considered a win-win for the birds and anyone who doesn't eat birds because if you've ever eaten lasagna homemade by an Italian grandmother you would know my co-worker wasn't missing out much on the traditional foods.

Jake and Jenny and Me and Bill

In between all the reality shows and the endless Christmas movies on the Hallmark channels, a few of my favorite movies have been on television recently. And even though I can quote them by heart I watch them, sometimes keeping them on as background noise that I refer to as I'm doing other random things on my computer but always following happily along.

Sixteen Candles was on yesterday. This movie makes me laugh (a lot) and cry a little. I liken Bill to the main male character. He's the guy worth waiting for who always comes to my rescue.

For the hundred-thousandth time, Forrest Gump is on TV, as I write this. I love this movie for its sweetness, its great soundtrack and the love story. Whenever I ask Bill why he loves me or why he's so good to me, his reply is:

Corny? Probably a little. Okay, a lot.  What can I say? We speak in movie quotes so it stands to reason that we should reference movie characters when describing our love story. Minus the fact  that Bill doesn't drive a red Porsche and I was never a flower child/hippie chick.

World Diabetes Day

Today is World Diabetes Day. In honor of this day I salute people, like my son, who have diabetes as well as their caregivers/supporters. We're all in this together.

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Many will take this day to spread awareness of this auto-immune disease and try to dispel the myths and stigmatisms that surround it. I don't want to get too preachy, I just want to mention all the things my type 1 diabetic son can do. He's no different than any other 11-year old boy, except he wears an insulin pump and has to check his blood sugar levels and dose himself with insulin accordingly.

In spite of having diabetes...

he goes to Middle School and maintains A-B Honor Roll grades.
he plays video games and hangs out with his friends.
he eats pizza and chocolate cake. (yep, because it's only a myth that sugar causes diabetes and that once you get it you can never eat sugary products again)
he swims and runs and kicks my butt at chess.
he laughs and plays pranks.
he likes toilet humor and fart jokes.
he flies model airplanes and rides his scooter.
he thinks he might be a teacher in the future.
he has a great smile.
he has a sunny demeanor.


According to the International Diabetes Federation, there are 382 million people living with diabetes worldwide. Check out this link  and this link if you want to learn more about World Diabetes Day.

I like eating turkey so I guess that makes me Thanksgiving

I took one of those Fb quizzes. Again. This one asked, What holiday are you? My answer seems appropo considering the month and all. There was one question which asked if I liked eating turkey. I answered, Yes, because I do and I think this question single-handedly resulted in my answer.

I agree with most of the description. In truth I am a homebody and I do like being a hostess, and it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy, however, I draw the line at utilizing so much energy in preparation that it's like a full time job. I like Thanksgiving but let's be serious here, Quiz people.

    
   
   
     

You Are Thanksgiving

You are a bit of a homebody who enjoys being in the company of people you love. It doesn't take a lot to make you happy. You're enjoying life as it is. You have many blessings in your life, and you are grateful for each one. You believe that life is about what you *do* have. You feel like you have enough of the good stuff. What makes you celebrate: Family, friends, and the changing of the seasons. At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The host of the party. On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Spend so much energy preparing that it's a full time job               Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes!

Thank you, Veterans.

This Veteran's Day I want to say a big Thank You to all veterans for their service to our country.

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Hey, what's your hurry?

I was looking at some pictures of Autumn and kind of missing the changing leaves-cooler weather-crispness of it all. Then I came across this and was like Whoa! Everyone and everything is always in such a hurry. Even me, when I'm not putting things off till the last minute, or, maybe because I do, I can be in a hurry. My grandmother had a saying: Everything always gets done. She was right.

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The weather is 78 degrees but Baby It's Cold Outside

I've had the song,  "Baby It's Cold Outside" going through my head for days. Also, it's been 78 degrees all week. I can explain. I'm not someone who shivers and grabs a sweater the minute the mercury dips below 80. I have, however, been listening to Christmas music because I want to add to the full onslaught of early Christmas this year. I'm taking a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach.

I know it seems like every year Christmas is thrust on us earlier and earlier but usually it's like a slow leak until around Thanksgiving when it becomes a huge flood of Tis the Season. But this year is different. It's like I told a friend of mine the other day, Halloween is barely cold in the ground and already everyone's gone Christmas. Makes me feel bad for Thanksgiving, like we're giving it the bum's rush. But if you check your calendar you'll see that Thanksgiving is late this year. It occurs on the last week of November. And Christmas is three and a half weeks later so we're not even getting the full 4 weeks which might explain why the stores and Hallmark Channels jumped the Yuletide gun before the trick-or-treaters even had a chance to go door-to-door.

It doesn't, however, explain why this of all Christmas songs, is stuck in my head. Catchy lyrics? An evil ear worm? I might never know why and maybe it's best to leave it at that. But could someone explain the song's relevancy to Christmas? At no point during the song does it reference the holiday. In fact, this song could be sung at any point in the winter, like February. Don't get me wrong, I like this song and there's one rendition featuring  Harry Connick, Jr. which is smokin'. Go on, give it a listen.

Pretty cool (pun intended) version, amiright? But, no mention of Santa, elves or trees. And yet this song finds itself being played every year between Jingle Bells and Winter Wonderland during the Christmas season. Wait a minute, neither of these songs is about Christmas either. I give up. I better quit while I'm ahead or I'll have them stuck in my head and besides, I really can't stay...

I gave a drink company some nice feedback

I've been drinking regular unsweetened ice tea for months now. Why? Because I like it. No, really, I do. But recently I discovered a new flavored ice tea drink and because I was so wowed by them I thought, why not leave them a nice comment on their feedback. This is what I wrote:

Dear (Name Withheld So I Don't Get Sued) Tea Makers,

I tried your drink for the first time this week, specifically the Not Too Sweet Peach. It was DELICIOUS! Usually I'm skeptical about drinking flavored teas because they're too sweet or the flavor over-powers the tea itself. I was pleasantly surprised with your drink. I am now a fan and looking forward to drinking more and maybe trying your other flavors, too. Except for the diet ones, I'm not big on diet drinks. Anyway, I know most people usually take the time to send complaints but I thought you would appreciate hearing some positive news regarding your product. 
 

Thanks for the great drink!

I wanted to add the following post scripts at the bottom but I thought it might seem too pushy and could perhaps land me in jail on bribery or extortion charges, even though I would have added the PPS to seem more light-hearted and less of a shyster.

PS: I accept bribes in the form of free bottles of tea in exchange for a review on my blog.
PPS: If this seems unacceptable or unprofessional I at least hope whoever reads your company feedback gets a chuckle out of this reply. Or, at the very least a smile. 

 
In the end I left it out because with my luck they wouldn't have gotten my attempt at humor. As yet, I haven't received a reply. I'm guessing my kind words left them speechless. You're welcome, Tea People.

This blog may sound funny but that's just how I tawk

My blog has a voice and it's all me. I write the way I talk.

Warm and fuzzy holiday memories

Today's writing prompt is difficult. It should be easy but it requires picking out one of an endless supply of choices. I like having choices but when there are so many it overwhelms me.

I probably should have skipped this writing prompt and written about anything else

The first writing prompt for this month's NaBloPoMo is: Write about an amazing imaginary brand or organization you'd love to work with. I was going to skip this and write about something else because I'm not creative enough to think of an imaginary brand/organization. Then it hit me. Not so much hit me like a bus but more like the splat you get when a bird poops on you.

I speak in movie quotes so this seemed like a great idea. I would like to work with an organization dedicated to archiving random quotes from movies and television because let's face it there's a quote for just about every situation in life. We could have a phone number and  live people on hand to research the perfect quote or, a mobile app for instant access to our library database. This could seriously help benefit those with weak comeback responses.


Does something like this exist? It probably does. Which means I'm already screwing up NaBloPoMo. And the month just started!

In all seriousness, if I could work for any imaginary brand I'd like to work for Santa Claus. I could even learn to love all the cold and snow because of the great perks, like an endless supply of cookies from Mrs. C. Yes, I do love Christmas and all that it brings so working at the North Pole would be so much fun. Besides, everyone's always so jolly and happy, it would be better and cheaper than anti-depressants. Now, I'm not talking as an elf making the toys but I wouldn't mind being a journalist on the North Pole Gazette or contributing to their website.

And now that I've added to the full on rush of Christmas by mentioning it this early in November and also possibly traumatized any children reading this, I'm going to end right here and hope that my month and my posts get better. Maybe I should have asked the Great Pumpkin to bring me a list of acceptable topics to write about.

I'm committing myself, again, but to writing for NaBloPoMo not to an institution

I'm taking part in NaBloPoMo, again. NaBloPomo stands for National Blog Posting Month which means I'll be chained to my computer writing a post every day for the month of November or else the NaBloPolice come after me. I'm kidding but only about the police although you are expected to post daily or else why do this? I actively participated in the October 2013 one because I wanted to add unnecessary stress to my life. It wasn't so bad. Given the month and time of year, I had a lot of material to work with which is why my posts centered mainly on Halloween and Halloween-related things. This time around I might actually follow a few of their writing prompts because there's really only so much you can write about Thanksgiving before you lose your audience.

This is also a good way to commit myself to writing on a daily basis and let's face it I have been slacking off big time in that department. So here's to 30 days (give or take) of writing. Cheating by way of posting only gifs or jokes is optional. I made up that last rule, ya know, just in case.



 

Trick or Treat, Wednesday Addams

This was the easiest and most comfortable costume I ever put together/wore for Halloween. The only thing I had to buy was the black tights. How cool is that? Plus, I already have the sullen expression so it's like I was born to be Wednesday Addams.

I got my own haul of candy, too. Partly because I'm as tall as my kid so I guess people thought I was also a kid out trick-or-treating. And partly because some people thought it was cool that I dressed up because not all parents bother to. And some had too much candy and too few trick or treaters. I didn't know this was an issue?

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!

Halloween weirdness

It's Halloween week. So, naturally I thought I would post some festive weirdness. These things reinforce my belief that there's a lot of weird in the world and Jim Morrison was right when he sang, "People Are Strange".

Some take an ordinary pumpkin and transform it into a Jack-O-Lantern work of art. And then there are those who take carving to a whole other level. Check out these weird pumpkin masterpieces. 

Am I the only one who thought of Mike Wazowski from "Monsters, Inc."? Probably.

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  Is this your handiwork, Calvin & Hobbes?

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There's an awful lot wrong with the person who carved this. That doesn't mean I don't like it. That also doesn't make it any less disturbing.

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When it comes to Halloween costumes it seems like nothing is off limits. This one is practical because you never know when ya gotta go.

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Pound sign? Tic Tac Toe? At first I couldn't tell what this was but then I saw the cell phone in her hand and it made sense. Hashtag. #Imapoundsigndressedasatictactoegame.

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I've been seeing a lot of banana costumes this year. I'm not sure what that's about. Here's a lime wedge costume, which I thought at first was a banana that wasn't ripe yet.

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Fearless crusader for diabetes truth

Non-d peeps, this post is about diabetes. Just putting that out there in case you've come for some laughs and feel like you stumbled into something way serious. But I encourage you to stick around anyway. Maybe learn something new. Or have a cookie. Chips Ahoy chocolate chip. Two cookies = 24 carbs. I think. I get them and another brand confused.

Why do I mention cookies and carbs? Because today for Fearless Friday I am spotlighting someone who is making it his fearless mission on twitter to educate the misinformed regarding type 1 diabetes.

His name is @darthskeptic and I "met" him through the Diabetes Online Community. He's a type 1 diabetic (obviously) with a great sense of humor and an encyclopedic amount of knowledge regarding the carb count of foods. I'm certain that if there was a diabetes version of Jeopardy he would win hands down and probably beat the pants off Ken Jennings. Ew, okay, bad analogy.

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Sadly, his tweets despite being informative are often met with sarcasm and anger or ignored all together. Sadder still is just how much inaccuracy is still out in the world regarding this disease with  the most widely held myth still being that sugar and sugar-related foods cause diabetes. It doesn't. But no matter how far this disease has come in medical and technological advancements it is still regarded as the 'sugar disease'. Darthskeptic is working to change that. But he doesn't do it in a mean-spirited way although there is a hint of sarcasm there. I've read some of the stupid tweets he replies to and believe me, he is being nice. 

So, if you ever tweet about some delicious chocolate cake you just ate and reference getting diabetes from it, don't be surprised if you get a reply from him informing you otherwise.

Driving around in cars

I was driving behind a bunch of old classic cars the other day. It was like driving down the local drag in American Graffiti. Or driving behind ZZ Top.

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So I started thinking about cars back then and cars now and seriously, classic cars were so much cooler back in the day. They looked badass and had tough names like GTO, T-bird, and Dart.

Now we have cars with tame names like Encore and Cadenza. Can you just see Vin Diesel tearing it up down the road in a Versa Note? No so much Fast & Furious as it is Slow & Steady.

Not that I'm making fun of these cars. I'm sure they're good vehicles and as long as you can get from Point A to Point B in one piece and with as little aggravation as possible it's all good. I just prefer muscle cars with kick-ass names. My first car was a Mustang. I also owned a Camaro (which my son was delighted to find out) and a Grand Am GT. These days I drive a sensible car, not because I want to but because it's what I can afford. My dream car is a yellow and black trim Camaro that I will happily name Bumblebee. I'll even take the '76 version, I'm not picky. And if he turned out to be an Autobot, well that would be a bonus.

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If it's Friday, this must be pizza

For as long as I can remember Fridays has always meant pizza for dinner. As a kid it was like a mini-celebration and a day off from cooking for mom all in one.

We still continue this tradition. Every Friday I ask Little Man what he wants for dinner. And the answer is always an enthusiastic "Pizza!"

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I think all households have some variation of this kinda like Taco Tuesday. It's something fun and gives everyone the kids me something to look forward to. I'm not quite sure how or when this got started in my family but I do recall one memorable Friday-pizza night when I was little.

We were at my grandparents' house waiting for the pizza delivery guy. It seemed to be taking longer than usual and my grandfather was getting impatient. Grandma called to check on the status and was told our pies were en route. So Grandpa decided to go wait out on the porch and told me to come with him. It was like a covert pizza sting operation. After five minutes we moved our base of operations to the street where I guess Grandpa was going to wait for the guy and grab his food to save time.

Suddenly we saw a pizza delivery guy across the street. Grandpa started yelling at him that he was at the wrong place, while also whispering to me that the guy was either new or an idiot. So, the delivery guy comes running across the street. He hands Grandpa our pies, we pay him and head inside to eat.

In between bites, Grandpa told everyone how the pizza guy was obviously lost but thankfully we saw him and managed to get our food before it got cold. It was everything a good pizza should be. Hot and cheesy and delicious. Sure our plain pie had mushrooms on it, but occasionally we ordered one with mushrooms so we forgave this mistake. After all, the pepperoni one was correct. Maybe the place was having an unusually busy night and got our order mixed up.

Halfway through the meal the doorbell rang. It was a pizza delivery man. With our pizzas. Seems the first delivery guy was at the right address and we were eating someone else's pizzas.

I told Bill this story and he rolled his eyes and said, "Now I know where you get it from!"

"My love of pizza?" I asked.

"No, your hunger induced impatience."

May I remind you who drove you to Papa John's to pick up his pizza rather than wait for delivery, Bill?

Show me that smile

Today is our wedding anniversary. That's 18 years of dreams, laughter and love. And since I'm a fan of all things Pop Culture I thought the best way to celebrate would be with this TV theme song, which I found to be quite appropriate. (I also loved this show back then) For those who were also fans, I included the music and lyrics. Enjoy!

Growing Pains Theme
Show me that smile again
Oh, show me that smile
Don't waste another minute on your crying
We're nowhere near the end
The best is ready to begin

As long as we've got each other
We've got the world spinning right in our hands

Baby you and me
We've gotta be
The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreaming

As long as we keep on living
We can take anything that comes our way
Baby rain or shine
All the time
We've got each other
Sharing the laughter and love
Sharing the laughter and love

Halloween ha-ha's

Found some Halloween funnies to share. Consider this my treat to you.

I think we can all agree that there's an Uncle Joe in everyone's family.

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I can relate to Helda the witch for many reasons.

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Two words you should never say to your hair dresser. Or, someone with a knife.

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